Sunday, October 28, 2007

Families

Often, my husband and I will start a late night conversation in bed, and inevitably it will lead to discussing nuances of every single one of our children. There are times when I notice the nuance to be one of my own character, such as my second child, who is like me to the core; (at least I and my mother think so) but there are other nuances in which I look at them and think: Where did this child come from?

I remember when I discovered that my children were not just extensions of myself, but they were their own individual persons. What a freeing, yet troubling revelation that was! Add my husband to the mix, a person so very unlike me, and I found myself questioning the Lord; can't we all just get along?! What do you really have in mind here?

Of course He knows just what He's doing, and really, I should stop badgering Him with questions sometimes.

The fact is, our children mold us and shape us. He is using all the nuances for chiseling and molding us into who He wants us to be.

...Then I remembered that during His time on earth, He Himself had to get along with at least six other children in a humble Nazareth household. What a comfort to know that He has experienced what families are up against, sympathizes and stands waiting and available with the wisdom and help we need. ~Catherine Marshall

12 comments:

Beck said...

My second child is the MOST like me too! My first child is exactly like her dad and my third child is exactly like Queen Victoria, but grouchier. And it's all good.

Miriam said...

*heart-warmed smiles*

Oh, how sweet and perfectly fitting your reflections were for me tonight (that seems to happen a lot when I come here to your place). I just have to stop and smile some more.

I've been reading Catherine Marshall in the last few days too... A Man Called Peter.

Thanks, Andrea. :)

Sheila said...

My hubby and I do that too. We share funny stories about what the boys said and did.

Terry said...

Andrea, I agree with you 100%. It is indeed a freeing and yet troublesome revelation when we must allow our children to be the individuals that God created them to be. Thanks again for your profound insights on motherhood.

:..Rebekah..: said...

Andrea,
I can't tell you how much I can relate to this right now. Especially now that my mother is also living with us! I also find myself asking, " What do you really have in mind here?!", as I refrain from pulling out my hair. I trust that God is using all of this to mold me and shape me too.:>
Great and helpful quote from Catherine Marshall. Thanks, and God bless!

Kendra said...

just like sweet sandpaper... That's what I'll think the next time I feel some little person grating on my nerves.

Goodlikeamedicine said...

I'm so there with you! I have always asked myself, "Now, when she did that, does that mean she's more like her daddy or me?" My mom reminded me once that our kids are individuals and at the same time they are mosiacs of us... but mostly they are entirely new people with their own sets of preferences, quirks, etc. It's taken me a while to realize that, and sometimes I still forget!

Sara said...

I often find myself watching Bella when she gets upset...and realizing that she reacts EXACTLY like I do when I'm upset. And it's not pretty. She's a reflection of me, and yet...like you said, so much her own person.

Having a child has definitely changed me and molded me into someone different...I feel deeper, love deeper...I'm fiercely protective of my sweet babe. Life takes on a completely new meaning. Especially in understanding God sending his only son to die...wow. How could I have ever truly understood the sacrifice without having a child of my own?

It's so wonderful to me that God is using her to teach me in ways I never could have imagined. Good thoughts. See you in the morning!

Crystal said...

Hey! Great post!! I run into this in my "work family" since I have no children, and sometimes my bosses act like children, haha, jk. Seriously though, recently I told myself, "ok. this is a test" like in The Road Less Traveled. Because, God knows who he puts in our life. Sometimes it helps, and when It doesn't, it's usually because I just want to whine. Thanks for your awesome bog!

L.L. Barkat said...

I like that Marshall quote. Funny, but I do so little imagining of Jesus as part of a family. Somehow he always stands in my mind as a solitary figure. But, of course, he had probably had to take turns carting out the garbage too (or whatever the chores equivalent would have been at that time).

Lady Why said...

Isn't that the beauty of the family?! Great post!! And, great blog!! I found you through Amy. I'll be checking back often!

AIMEE said...

sometimes I think that i must have mailed you my journal...of course you are ahead of me b/c I just had these thoughts yesterday :) I wrote down that it is so freeing to realize that my children are not extensions of myself (what a narcissistic viewpoint!)...which means they are not a reflection of me, the Lord deals with them uniquely (not like He does with me) and they have their distinct questions, ideas, creative bents, etc...so often I want them to be like me to somehow affirm me...learning to enjoy the differences, glory in our uniqueness, and be secure in our diversity.