Friday, April 04, 2008


I've lived in houses high up the canyon, with a homemade playhouse out back, where I can see the mountains in the morning in through the kitchen window, washing dishes. Living in tiny rooms where only a bed and dresser could fit. Tiny closets to hold my stuff.

In a brownstone apartment on the Upper West Side in New York City. With beautiful woodwork and a canopy bed. A pull-out couch for my five year old.  Our neighbor, a ninety year old man named Ash who invited us to eat Italian the last night we were there.

In houses where mid-century modern style ruled, but filled with shabby antiques. In a home that would not heat properly in the Northeast, because it was meant to be a summer home. In a home that was easy to clean because it had new hardwood floors put in before we moved in.

I've lived in a house where the weeds overtook much of the 2 acres 'cause I was pregnant or had a newborn. I was busy. Where the ceilings were low and the renovation list was long. Where it was charming and woodsy, though those trees really scared me in wind and snow storms.

I've lived in a house that had a 'specially made master bedroom... and central air. (Man, I love that central air in a heat wave. And when pregnant.) Where my kitchen had so many cabinets that some were empty, and a laundry room that was actually a room. It's not my dream house, but it's home.

I think about houses and homes a lot. I like to tear sheets out of decorating magazines and put them into binders. I like to think of the idea of home. I like to make a home for my family. (Which has nothing to do with decorating tear sheets.)

Here on earth, my home is my husband. Wherever he goes, I'll go. When my children are no longer living with us *sniff*, he will still be here. My home is not a house.

But, really, what I'm longing for, what we are all longing for, is that place called Heaven. It's the reason we tear decorating magazine pictures out.  It's why we create. It's where we want to go.

My five year old: "Mama, I think it will be fun to die."
Me: (cringing) "Why is that, honey?"
Her: "'Cause we will get to see Jesus and God, and that will be fun! And it will be gold and shiny, and I love the color gold."

Must read: Randy Alcorn's Heaven: Our Certain Hope


Brenda said...

Where did my comment go?

What a neat post, Andrea! You are right--our home is where our family is. Where our husband is. Sounds like you can make a home out of any house.

But I wonder...the Bible says our troubles are not worth comparing with what awaits us...I imagine the beauty we are able to "create" is not worth comparing either.

L.L. Barkat said...

Andrea, that thought about your husband being home is very sweet. Very, very sweet.

laurel said...

I agree with Barkat...that is very, very sweet.
Someone told me recently that the reason we are constantly redecorating/dreaming of redecorating is because we are on a constant mission to achieve perfection...which can never be reached, until we get to heaven. That we WANT heaven. Much too ponder...

Andrea said...

Thank you L.L.--it's true!
Laurel--that's *just* what I was getting at-our desire for that decorating/redecorating or thinking of houses or even home in general is our longing for Heaven.

Sara said...

Another wonderfully written post, my friend. It's funny how our focus is always on something better, different, etc. When I had a "real" house, I felt the same as you have described. And even now, in the RV...we dream of what we would want in our NEXT one :) ha ha. Longing for that perfect ride...and yes, heaven. Sweet perfection! I love the part about husbands being our home...good stuff.

Tami said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog. It is so nice to meet you. What a beautiful post. I feel the very same. Have a blessed weekend. Tami

shawn said...

I've been reading you for a bit now. This one really got me! I love all things 'home', and can tend to be a homebody. Your point is so so good! It's fun to imagine Heaven as not only perfect, but really well decorated, huh! :) Thanks for the great posts, I've really enjoyed your blog.

AIMEE said...

you are such a precious writer...this was just beautiful...I love hearing about all your houses, rooms and your sweet "home" :)

Laura said...

What a beautiful picture of love! I understand that attraction to all things home that you have...I think it is--at least in part--one of God's ways of letting us express our appreciation of beauty. I love beautiful things, but that's not to say I would ever imagine they can compete with the beauty of Heaven! I think that God wants us to enjoy the gifts He has given us, after all, He loves beautiful things too!

Ann Voskamp @Holy Experience said...

When I was a little girl, I used to whisper to myself on the school bus, "I just want to go home." And I'd say the same thing to myself as a university student. And now I'm in my 30s and happily at home with husband and these children and I still catch myself saying, "I just want to go home."--- And that home is Home, that heaven we all long for.

An absolutely beautiful post, Andrea.
Thank you, friend....

:..Rebekah..: said...

What a lovely post! Kathryn Scott has a song "Heaven is our Home", and I love it. I get so excited when I listen to it. It strengthens me to know that all over the world we have so many brothers and sisters in the faith who are looking forward to going Home and dwelling there forever.

Denn said...

What a beautiful post. I like the title of your blog too! I can tell already, I'll be back to read more.
Nice to find you.

Jennifer, Snapshot said...

Obviously I'm catching up here, but I had to comment on this post.


I was just visiting "home" last weekend without my husband or kids. I felt strangely nostalgic and sort of sad, and couldn't place it. I like where I live and it's home to me, and I don't think that I want to move back to Houston, so I couldn't figure it out, but I think you helped me put my finger on it.