Saturday, October 18, 2008

It is good

It is 10 p.m. Our bedtime. I am overwhelmed with all I need to do. (Or think I need to do.) I sigh.

My husband turns to me and his warm eyes crinkle as he smiles at me, lying in bed last night.

"I'm overwhelmed," I said. "My life is not my own."

He laughs at me, makes me feel like a little girl. I smile, sheepishly.

Instead of asking, as he always does so graciously, "how can I help?", he pulls me close and surprises me:

"That's good."

I look at him quizzically, wondering where this is going. I expected him to tell me I needed more balance in my life. That he would get up with the children in the morning, so I could sleep in. He does this often.

"Your life is not your own, and that's a good thing. The more you focus on yourself, the more it is an empty hole."

"Yes", I say. I smile and nod. Thankful for these words of wisdom that I know deep in my heart, but find disconnect with my head, what I understand and perceive. What my body feels.

It is true. We must be thankful we can serve. Thankful to forget ourselves, as we mother and schedule, and clean and plan and create this life for our children and family. So I keep repeating: "My life is not my own." And I add in my head, "it was paid with a price."

Lord, how can I show glory to you? In giving my life to You, to my family? It is good that my life is not my own.

"For the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve; and to give His life as a ransom for many." ~Matthew 20:28

22 comments:

Prairie Chick said...

That song, and those words from your amazingly wise husband are what it's all about. And why I cherish my visits to your virtual home. You remind me consistently "what it's all about." All the "noise" of our age drowns out the simple fact that we are called. to. die. Stop preaching. Stop reaching. Stop wrestling. Stop fighting. Don't just put your personal agenda to rest. Kill it. Bury it beneath the cross. Kiss those feet of mercy, and then kiss those around you with the flavor still potent on your lips.

Sandy said...

I love how our husbands say the right things at the right time = wisdom! THanks for sharing.

Stacey said...

Oh, that is good! I just recently found you... I believe it was from a link on NieNie's blog.

Love what your husband said and love what prairie chick said, "Bury it beneath the cross. Kiss those feet of mercy, and then kiss those around you with the flavor still potent on your lips."

salina said...

You are truly blessed to have a man like that by your side to offer you support when you need it and to remind you of what you might already know deep down. How easy it is sometimes for us to forget because of all the "stuff."
Take care,
Salina

Monica said...

What a gentle and wise shepherd you have by your side. Be blessed today by all that you do.

TAMI said...

Those late night, pull me close, conversations are wonderful! Glad you have wisdom sleeping alongside you!!

Rebekah said...

I love that scripture, and I have been purposefully trying to focus on serving with a happy heart! Thank you for sharing and encouraging me!

by...K@ Ashcroft said...

Funny, my husband just said a similar thing this morning at breakfast. (He invited me I obliged)

He said, Why is it that we so strive to be independent? That is not what Christ taught. Self sufficient yes, but independent means you don't need anyone else and we all need each other but mostly we all need HIM. We all need Christ in our lives and quite often that is in the form of others. Giving of ourselves to others helps everyone including ourselves.

daisyeyes said...

Totally amazing...your post and that song. What I need to hear as I grumble and complain about this place the the Lord has put me in. Thanks for your sweet words of honesty and reminder and prayer.

Beverly said...

It is wonderful to read of the wise words of your husband. Your words are always such a blessing. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

anya* said...

oh...Such a great post. I have been contemplating homeschooling for a few months, knowing in a deep place within me it is the right thing to do- but the hang up? Well, the complete knowledge that if we do take the 'leap' my life will no longer be my own in ways I may be romanticizing- but half way wanting nonetheless. You know, when the littlest one magically turns five and my days are quiet bliss;)everyone in school and my coffee and paper in hand to enjoy... ahhh. But that is where I am so mistaken. This life is and never was my own..
Thanks for the encouragement. The reminder.

Why don't you do a series on how you home school day looks:)...You know, like, for me.

flo said...

You are indeed blessed.

Thank you for sharing. I am one post richer today.

laurel said...

My hubby and I had a similar conversation yesterday. I have been really struggling with this very same thing lately. Thank you (and your husband) for speaking/writing truth. It is always good to be reminded.

Sarah said...

I needed this tonight Andrea. Thank you.

Andrea said...

Thank my husband, y'all.
I could NEVER do my job without him.
Love to take this journey with all of you precious ladies!!

Lisa said...

glad you shared this! my husband has said on several occasions as i express this very sentiment that i show him more about jesus as i mother our two children. i'm glad that my sacrifice can encourage him because sometimes my efforts feel futile ... at least to me!

Toia said...

Thanks for sharing. It's a blessing to have your husband to be there when you need him and to say the right words you need to hear. I try not to focus on myself and think of ways how I can be of service to others. Thanks for the post. Have a bless week.

Heather W. said...

thank you for this post! the perfect reminder as I start another week.

Lynn said...

I love this post. Just what I needed to read this morning. So, so encouraging. Thank you.

jen said...

beautiful

Sheila said...

I need that wisdom and perspective. I've been focusing on myself way too much.

OK, this a dumb question, but what is the song all the comments mention? Thanks.

amy said...

words to live by.

BTW, I just finished reading "When the frost is on the punkin" not a half hour ago before discovering your blog.

peace,
amy