Saturday, January 10, 2009

Relationship over.......

One sad thing I notice in the church body these days is people's lack of choosing relationships over...whatever. I'm not pointing fingers, I know I've been just as guilty.
A lot of my focus this past year and hopefully in the years to come is focusing on the relationships in my life. A mother shared a story with me about how she sometimes deals with her daughters' fights. If the fight happens to be about a particular toy, she will remove the toy from the situation and ask the girls: "What do you love more, the toy or your sister?"  Well, what can you say to that? *smile* Most children (and adults), given the chance would say they love the human right there instead of the inanimate object.
Sadly, this doesn't always play out in our real lives.
Schedules, to-do lists, *whatever* is more commonly chosen over relationships in our busy lives.
This frustrates me in myself and in others. I'm asking myself this year--In what ways can I nurture the relationships in my life? Sometimes the choice is my family over commitments. Sometimes it means not cleaning the kitchen that night to meet with other mothers who are desperate for connections. (Aren't all mothers?) Even though I may be an introvert by nature, I am still created as a social creature who needs interactions with others, whether I feel like it or not.
When can I choose a relationship over rules in dealing with my children? I am making more of a point to throw out controlling "rules" and focus on relationships with my children. Maybe that means letting them have ice cream at 9:00 at night or letting a teen have a Facebook page,  if it means I can learn to trust them and let the control be to God. Often times, especially with my teen, I have found that when I let go of my tight rules, and begin to learn how to live in relationship with them, that it is often the harder way, but so much more satisfying. Who do I love more? My "rules" or my child?
So, here's to choosing Relationships over....whatever it is that is holding you back.

9 comments:

Aimee said...

beautiful. really really beautiful. I am SO grateful for our friendship :)
I think of the great line in the movie "Family Man" (which is one of our faves) where Kate says "I choose us". She chooses their relationship over her ideals...it always makes me so teary :)

Relationship over rules...learning to let go daily over those...not easy for a recovering and sometimes not-so-recovering control freak :)
Aimee

TulipGirl said...

Beautifully said. . . v

Denise said...

Choosing reltionships over controlling rules. This is something I find myself praying over constantly. As I try to bring order to our lives and have a preschooler with a stubborn streak and a love of chaos. I need to remind myself often to let go of the need to make things perfect and just her be her messy, glorious self.

Michelle Cowden said...

I've been on a similar path- learning (finally) that relationships are what really matters. And the way we nurture those relationships is an important matter. I try to remember that actions speak louder than words. And that my relationship with myself is of equal importance.

Wonderful post. Really enjoying your blog!

Sincerely,
Michelle

Tammy (Mom to this crazy bunch) said...

This is the very topic that God has been dealing with me on. It was so interesting to come here this morning and see it so beautifully put into words. Thank you.

Mrs Wibbs said...

...I gave you an award...
Please receive it with my respect and admiration :)
...and thanks for the Facebook add.
Stay well friend
Rachel

Cheryl said...

You did it again, another great post. Because I love your blog, I give you The Butterfly Award. You can collect it here: http://crispy-not-crunchy.blogspot.com/2009/01/id-like-to-thank-academy.html

SusieQ said...

Great post. I've been thinking about this recently as well. You put words to my thoughts. Thank you.

Marybeth said...

This was a great post-- thanks. I am going to send it on to my husband b/c this is exactly what God has been showing us esp in dealing with our teens.