Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My name is Andrea, and I am an introvert

Friends.
Any other introverts out there?
Since this is my blog and all and "where my thoughts get their voice" (lucky you.)--I am expressing myself.
I am an introvert.

What this doesn't mean:
1. It doesn't mean I don't like people.
2. It doesn't mean I don't like to be around people.
3. It doesn't mean I don't have social skills.
4. It doesn't mean I'm shy.
5.  It doesn't mean I don't like to talk. ( I love to talk!)
6. It doesn't mean I'm sad.
7. It doesn't mean I'm ignoring you.


It does mean:
1. I can be "on", but I need my "off" time.
2. If I'm "on" too much, I need lots of time to recover--that means lots of time to process things.
3.  I get energy from quiet, meditative reflection with no interruptions, not from being around a lot of people. 
4.  I like to listen more than talk.
5. I think about what I'm going to say before I say it.
6. I like being around people that like to talk. It's a good balance for me.
7. Too much noise all at once drives me nuts.
8. I'm in my head a lot.

Don't..
1. Say "you're quiet." Duh. Well, you're LOUD.
2. Misunderstand me. Come on...get to know me first.
3. Think I have to comment on every. single. thing. And tell me that. Whatev.
4. Say I'm shy. I will tell you what I think in a heart beat. I have very strong opinions. I'm not afraid to say them. 
5. Ask me "Don't you ever talk?".

Silence is only frightening to people who are compulsively verbalizing. -William S. Burroughs

He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know. -Lao Tzu


Still waters run deep. -old saying

I'm liking this article from The Atlantic magazine published in 2003.

I have four...soon to be five... children. And I'm an introvert. How does that exactly "work"? 
 Mommy Life has a series of posts on introverts as mothers. Here is one. Search "introvert" on her site for more if you are interested.

Are you an introvert? Are one of your children an introvert? (I have 2 introverts and at least one extrovert...the verdict is still out on the three year old and the baby in utero....) 

This book looks like it would be such a great help for introvert moms to help understand your introvert child, or even your introvert friend or family member.

15 comments:

Patricia Weber said...

Andrea there are INDEED many of us here. Even over at Twitter - we set up a group - just for us! As one of the members recently said, we're small and quiet but WE know we are there.

Patricia Weber
Business Sales Accelerator Coach
Blogging Sales Tips for Introverts, Shy and Reluctant

Courtney said...

Believe it or not....I'm an introvert too, my friend!

Aimee said...

And I call my self an extroverted introvert!! :) I love love to talk and verbally process with people...I can get LOUD and funny...but I also need lots of regrouping afterwards, quiet, rest, and contemplation. I am fueled by a group and talk my brains out, but then come home and am quiet and unavailable for days on end :) I am an enigma :)

helenw13 said...

AAAAHHH...that is my heart and soul after reading your post...it is so nice to know I am not alone...I had to smile...I have taken the week "off" from social stuff because I had 5 days out of 7 that were major social things...only a fellow introvert would understand the need to tuck my head in my shell...

Bless you Andrea...

Almost empty nester said...

I too am an introvert...your post sounded like you were writing about me.

Joy said...

Yay! I am not alone. :)

I do think it's interesting that once you understand what you are it makes it a lot easier to process things- and go "oh, this is freaking me out because...or I am struggling with this because..." I think it's really helped me in the parenting arena, like you mentioned.

Natalie said...

Thanks for the dos and don'ts for those of us who know you IRL, Andrea ;) I fall somewhere between and introvert and extrovert- I am not good at small talk but I love to be around people. I love to chat but I usually have a hard time getting the chat started. Once the chatting starts, I am usually fine but I do not think before I talk often enough. That usually only happens when I am really comfortable around someone and then I have foot in the mouth syndrome- LOL

Christine said...

Oh, interesting! I'm definitely an introvert, but my introvertedness looks a bit different from yours. You see, I'm loud...often. Just came from a loud Italian family...so it's really not my fault. ;)

But I sooooo need my solitude, and I would choose to be alone or with very few people if given the choice. My tank is filled by reflection not socializing.

Love this post!

Elizabeth said...

According to my therapist I'm an introvert with good social skills. So, yes, I fit in with you, too, Andrea! I TOTALLY get this!

Kim said...

YES! I am an introvert, but also have some social anxiety to go along with it. Both of my sons are introverts and also show the same fear of people that I have.

Thanks for your post. I'm going to check out the links.

L.L. Barkat said...

Timely. I'll look into the book. (and tell you why it's timely in person! : )

Beck said...

I'm extroverted - but my husband and oldest child are introverts. Introverts in a loud, loud household, the poor sweeties....

cloverlandfarm said...

i don't know if you'd think of me this way, but i am an introvert too! an introvert who has been socialized to be an extrovert when needed. it's a bit problematic when married to an extreme extrovert. he's on all the time and i need to be off a lot of the time. i love to be home alone and am so glad b has solid guy friends to hang with and draw energy from while i'm drawing energy from the silence of our home!

Our Lovely Life said...

I am an introvert too. Your post could have been written about me. It amazed me just how similiar we are and we've never met!! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who is this way. It's very comforting.

Aja said...

Oh me, too! Sometimes it's hard for my husband to understand me, but now that we have an introvert child (and two extroverts!), he's beginning to understand me a bit better! Great post!