Friday, June 12, 2009

The best that I can do

It's hard to be weak.
I'm not sure how we came to this point.
I am sure it has something to do with our sinful nature: work, work, work; do, do, do. Leave no room for God to work, try to be God.

Being pregnant with my fifth child gives me many opportunities to feel weak. No, I'm not screaming "yay" at that. It's hard. It's frustrating.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant; big, tired.....and this week I pulled a rib muscle and have a cold and cough.
Now just imagine how fun that is. I'm joking. It's a horrible combination.
My latest mantra is: "It's not faaaiiiirrr."

The beginning of this week had me stuck in bed with piles of laundry from our vacation all around me, and the looming thought that I-have-six-weeks-until-this-baby-comes-and-I-have-done-nothing-and-I-have-no-energy-and-I-have-no-time.  Panic!!

So I told God: Lord, I don't know why you have me in this situation. But I trust You know what's best for me and I accept that.

Weakness. I am panicking because I cannot do, only be. 

Gluten Free Girl has a good post up about doing the best we can.
She says:

When life threatens to boil over, like a pot too full of water, I do three things. Tickle Little Bean and watch her giggle. Look down at my wrist at the yes in blue ink, to remind myself to say yes to this moment too. And I think of Paul Raymond, who led a full, imperfect life, and gave me this gift:

"Do the best you can in the time available to you."


For me, in this moment, it means resting as much as I can. Writing down one thing on my "to do list" every day, instead of ten things. When I can't "do" for my children, I pray for them.

I don't like to be weak. I fight against it constantly. However, I rest in the truth of His words when He says:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My Power is made perfect in weakness." 

Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
(II Corinthians 12:9)

16 comments:

Bounty said...

Oh wow congratulations! number ? You are my hero (here I am thinking that my one little baby is hard work!) Do you know the sex of the baby yet? Have you thought about names? (http://www.bounty.com/babynames/ is a great place to search) Good luck with the pregnancy hun, i have all my fingers and toes crossed for you xxx

Aimee said...

praying that you will feel better, friend!! Not fun. at. all.

It'll all get done...and I had a friend tell me the other day (when I was in a this-baby-is-coming-freak-out-session) "really all your baby needs is a diaper and a sleeper". That's easy. :)

Prairie Chick said...

Oh my dear, sweet, beautiful friend. My heart goes out to you. As I read your post (which somehow managed to be peaceful and calm inducing despite your angst, you amaze me) and nodded with fervor at your "one thing" on the to do list, the "One thing" of Mary came to mind. You are wise my friend, very, very, wise.

Sarah Joy Albrecht said...

Andrea,

Praying for you in the last few weeks of your pregnancy, and for a great delivery of your precious new baby.

Thanks for your encouraging post.

Much love from Japan,
Sarah

Nina said...

My thoughts exactly, I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow and I'm panicking too, but I made sure I let the Lord know this morning. :)

Holly said...

Oh, my heart and prayers go out to you. Praying you feel better very soon. I really related to what you wrote. I felt so similar when pregnant for #4, but was not verbalizing too well-mostly just reacting.
What a beautiful post. Wish I could do something practical...fold laundry, sweep floors, tidy up the kitchen and bathrooms.
Hang in there. That is a good point about the sleeper & diaper...but it's hard to be accepting of what you can't do. Hugs to you & lots of prayers. Holly

Amy T. said...

2 Corinthians 12:9 was my theme verse near the end of my recent pregnancy. I had a hard time understanding how my weakness was a good thing, but I accepted God's word and rested in it.

Natalie said...

Andrea,
I am praying for you! I know how hard it is to rest when there is so much to do. Please let me know if I can do anything!!!

Kristi said...

You were on my mind this evening, and I wasn't sure why... and now I know! Praying for you.... :)

rushartist said...

I blogged hopped over here and am so glad I did. I am terrible at doing what i can do with the time I have and being satisfied with that. I feel like I need to be and do and help and fix. and yet, I feel weaker and weaker the stringer I try to be. If his power is made perfect in my weakness (and I know it is), then He must be reveling in His power in my life right now. Thanks for the reminder that I need to surrender to my control and pray, pray, pray for my kids, husband, life and self. Great encouragement at the perfect time.
Heidi

{Life Is Good} said...

Great Post....and so true! Love your blog. Prayers for you.

Susan @ Heart Pondering said...

I am only 31 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child and still this post resonates with me a great deal!

I particularly like this line:
"When I can't "do" for my children, I pray for them."
That is what I need to do as well - more intentionally, and more of it.

Blessings to you as you press on...

Heidi said...

Thank you for your words. I am also a few weeks away from birth (with my 2nd child) and this pregnancy has been an incredible lesson in what I need to find my significance in. (Not doing stuff, but BEING who God wants me to be IN. EACH. MOMENT.) I'm still struggling with this lesson, amongst the laundry piles, half-finished organization projects, and trying to make the most of my daughter's last few weeks as an only child. I too love whata you said about when you can't "do" for your children- pray for them. I CAN pray ceaselessly, and without inducing contractions too! :)

STEPHANIE. said...

I am really enjoying your blog..this is very encouraging! thanks. :)

Jennifer said...

What a great and timely post! While I'm not pregnant, I am dealing with several long-term health issues while raising four children. Last week was church camp, with lots of responsibilities plus getting our whole crew ready to go, and next week is VBS...also many responsibilities, and a week full of early mornings. I'm struggling with not being able to keep up with the house, laundry, cooking, and all the rest while doing these *extras* that are so important to our family. I needed to read this today!

I'm trying hard to "do the best I can in the time available to me", and I so need to remember that "When I can't "do" for my children, I pray for them." Great thoughts!

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

I developed a chronic illness about ten years ago and I've had to learn to deal with that lack of energy.

However, I have to keep reminding my (perfectionist) daughter that pregnancy and preschoolers have the same energy draining issues as having a chronic illness.

It's just the kids are cute and illness is not.