Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Where He wants me

This cartoon kind of sums up how I've been feeling lately. There is a bible study at my church I want to go to, a friend I want to make laundry detergent with, a family I want to fellowship with, a friend I want to meet for lunch.  I've had to say "no" to a cookout, and altogether skip a parenting conference I registered to attend... because I just don't have the energy to do these things lately. I've had to say "no" or reschedule a few times due to my desire to just do "one thing" each day. I can't let myself get overtired. Then I'm no good to anyone.
Sometimes I am frustrated that I can't do all I want to do, but it's a constant re-evaluation of my life: what is best for me? for my family? for the people in my life? (friends, neighbors, church) And ultimately, am I obeying the Lord and doing what He wants me to do, regardless of what I think I have to do? Sometimes the thing He is calling us to do is not a big change. Maybe it's improving on what we are already involved in. Maybe it's spending more time at home. Maybe it's not. Regardless, it all starts with Him.
I like what Katherine wrote in her latest post: (read the whole post, not just this quote, it's very good.)

"I guess I'm back to my usual spot, feeling like I'm not doing any one thing particularly well, trusting God to fill in where my efforts (again) run into the unforgiving curbs of my family's limits.
Which is probably where He wants me, anyway."

I love how He always just gently brings us back to Him. Letting us know that our efforts are not what saves us, but only His grace. And that where He wants me is clinging always to Him.

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. ~Psalm 62:5


Rain said...

I really appreciate your musings Andrea.And I truly empathize.
I am in the same boat. I'm holding on to Him for dear life. I'm in the throes of nausea (10 weeks with #6), my husband is finishing up his first year as a high school history teacher, and our house has been for sale since March.
Put a fork in me coz' I'm done.
But I'm not. The Lord continues to stretch me as now I have a very sick child and it has rained for DAYS!
Your will be done Lord BUT give me the grace and strength to go on.

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. psalm 62:5

Terry @ Breathing Grace said...

I told my long story at Katherine's so I'll just say:

Thanks, Andrea!

Andrea said...

Thanks, Rain for the verse. I love it. I am editing my post to include it! =)

Barb J. said...

I way over extended myself last week and so have been trying to be disciplined in saying "no" this week. Thanks for the encouraging words.

Cloverland Farm said...

i can relate. where is our freaking baby? we have been waiting for our referral forever (we started this process in october 2007!!!!) we've watched others start after us and already bring their babies home. i keep telling myself trust god, trust god. but the anticipation of when/who is killing me!!! it will happen. and i can't wait.

Rose said...

i love yourself :) you remind me so much of Gaga.