Burn-out

This past year and a half I have learned more about burn-out than I ever wish on someone.

To me, burn-out is:

• not trusting the Lord
• doing things in my own power
• biting off more than I can chew
• carrying my own burden/creating unnecessary burdens for myself
• not recognizing my limits
• not recognizing my own needs as a child of the Lord
  
• feeling as if I am in a "pit"

There are also many other ways burn-out can be manifested. 

Here is an excellent article.
I also like to read these helpful posts to point me on the right path to recovery, and so that I don't get in that place again. Very, very good stuff from a wise mother. Another great post here.

Things that have helped me on the road to recovery:

• Trusting God/restoring my relationship with God
• Letting others love me and minister to me. (as mothers, we sometimes think we can do it all, and to let others minister to us is sorely needed.)
• Making a list of priorities 
• Asking for help and prayer
• Being good to myself
• Cutting out blog reading and "Christian book" reading. (too much information, too much mind clutter, too much propensity to put unnecessary burdens on myself, my husband, and my family)
• Giving myself lots of quiet space to think and reflect and to "Be still before Him." so that He can "gently lead me" in my mothering.  

There are countless other things I do and can do to take better care of myself so that I do not get into a place of burn-out. This list is just a start. I encourage you mothers to really think about your priorities and how and if you are caring for yourself. It's so easy as a mother to give, give, give, without realizing that we need care as well. Because if we are not healthy, then our families will not be healthy. Listen to Him, let Him lead you gently, dear mothers. Everyone is unique, and what worked/is working for me may not work for you. That is why we have to seek Him personally, as He tailors a life lovingly just for us.

... God has allowed in the lives of each of us some sort of loss, the withdrawal of something we valued, in order that we may learn to offer ourselves a little more willingly, to allow the touch of death on one more thing we have clutched so tightly, and thus know fullness and freedom and joy that much sooner. We're not naturally inclined to love God and seek His Kingdom. Trouble may help to incline us--that is, it may tip us over, put some pressure on us, lean us in the right direction.

~Elisabeth Elliot

The art of letting go

I used to try to get everything done.

Used to think I could.

Then I had five kids.

Now I skip showers for stories.

Lunch for a nap. (or vice versa!)

Cleaning for listening.

Laundry for snuggling.

Homemade dinners for takeout.

Grocery shopping for rocking the baby.

and..

I replace doubt and fear with Trusting God.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

~Matthew 11: 28-30

The Broom

Thank you, God.
For my place.
Under your great and gracious skies.
For a house, a tree, a swing.
For beauty that is small and precious.

I praise You,
For You are the Giver
Of all good things.

You bring into my life
Each day,
A task that is as humble as a broom.
You say--Sweep!

There is a friend to be listened to...
A card to be sent,
A home to be cared for.

Sometimes,
I sweep dust
Into my own face.
I could just cry.
I feel so clumsy, so ordinary,
So unfit for Your Holy calling.

But when I get tired
You take away my broom,
And You sit me down
On a bench,
For a drink of lemonade.

I realize that I haven't minded the job.
There are golden glints in the straw.

Soon, I'm ready to sweep again.
With hands that are more tender
And a heart that is more willing to be taught.

I praise You, Lord,
Suffering servant, and victorious King,
For the privilege of taking
Even one stroke...
With my broom.

~Anon.

Why I am taking a blogging break...

image from Big Stock Photo

I will remember

The day began like most days: got up, got my 2 children breakfast, started to rock the baby to sleep, while the eldest got ready for homeschool; and then I got the phone call:

"Where is [husband's name]?" said my mom, with an urgency in her voice.

"At work, why?" was my breathless reply.

"A man just crashed a plane into the World Trade Center," she said. "[husband's name] wouldn't be down there, would he?"

"No, he is at work, I am sure. "I said. " I will call him."

At that point, I was picturing a small passenger plane crashing into the World Trade Center, an accident, of course.

Called my husband. Told him what happened. No, he hadn't heard, and yes, he was ok. At that time, he was working in midtown Manhattan, less than a mile from where the tragedy was occuring. We hung up, satisfied and convinced it was a passenger plane that had merely been diverted in a wrong direction.

We had no t.v. Only a couple of weeks before had we made the decision to get rid of t.v. for awhile. I tried to get reception, but found I could not. Turned on the radio and heard bits and pieces of the action, realizing it was a terrorist attack. Checked email and found email from friend, telling me of the details, asking about my husband. Of course there were phone calls from people, but I can't remember all of them. It seems every 5 minutes or so the phone was ringing. Tried to call husband's cell but no through service.

When baby awakes, I pack up eldest and youngest and we go to Kmart to find a T.V antenna. Salesclerks are going crazy, talking about how one of the towers fell down. Fell down?

Hurry home and get a fuzzy picture. Talk to husband. He is still ok, but at a friend's house now, trying to get out of the city. Says he smells smoke, even on the upper West side. Trains are locked down, he can't get out. Will let me know when he can.

Scared and waiting. Talking on the phone when I can, trying to get through on the internet to get better news, but I can't. Miraculously, my husband goes to Grand Central and gets on the first train that opens....this is at 2pm. Relieved he is out of Manhattan, we wait. More relief when he is home.

Find out that the t.v gets better reception in our small galley kitchen. Prop it up on the kitchen counter and stay glued to the events. We are silent, speechless.

After dinner we are watching the congressmen sing, "God Bless America." That's when I lose it. I bawl like nobody's business. I cry out of fear, out of sorrow, out of confusion. Husband holds me tight against his chest. Oldest daughter watches silently.

And that's my last memory of the day.

May we never forget that day.

My point in writing out this story was for a keepsake for my children of what happened that day, my own story.

This is a repost of a post written in 2006. I felt like I wanted to remember 9-11 today on my blog. Because I am in such close proximity to New York City, it affected many personally in my community.

Being good to myself

I waver back and forth about this blog. In some ways, it's good for me to organize my thoughts into well-crafted words. It makes me feel in control, it helps to process things. I like the feedback from the online community.

In other ways, once I get online, I get sucked into other blogs, other words, other lives. It confuses me. I can't hear His voice.

Lately, I've been wanting to close my mac book, and walk away. There's just too much going on in my life to get it muddled with words--even my own words.

All right. I'm hormonal. I just had a baby 6 weeks ago. It takes time for the hormones to level off. To find a new normal.  Once they level off, and I accept this new normal, I feel more like "myself".

So, for now, I will be quiet here.

Adjusting, listening, praying, wondering.

Living with much grace.

Being good to myself and my family.

Pray for me?

comments closed, but would love to hear from you via email at

flourishingmother@hotmail.com

Out of the box

Do you read The Sartorialist? It is a fashion blog of everyday style on the streets of (mostly) New York City. Every now and then I will check it out. My husband was approached by the photographer of the blog to take a picture of his "street style", but in my husband's true form, he declined. I gave him a hard time. Don't you know I want my handsome husband on that blog!! =)

Like I said, occasionally I will check out the blog. I find it interesting because it is in New York City, which is close to me.

The photographer of the blog has published a book of his photos. Evidently, his first book signing is at a store in Paris. I like what he says:

As someone who grew up always wanting to be a fashion designer it gives me a great amount of pleasure to have a window display of my work at Colette. Ok, it might not be the type of art that I thought I might create when I was younger. It goes to show that you should never give up the dream, but also don't be so narrow in your vision as not to see where your real talents lie.

I see some similarities in this quote and in the post by Tonia I linked to in my last post. Amy has an interesting dialogue on that post, Katie's blog, and not allowing your vision to be too narrow. You can find it here.

This is all very interesting to me as a recovering idealist.  I am learning that I can still have my ideals, but that my "vision should not be narrow."

Weekend reads--deep thoughts!!

Sovereign Sanctifying Scars Deeply, achingly humbling.

My perfect life I like to say "Imperfect is perfect."

Be warned....
This profoundly changed me this week.

I wanted to dance I am speechless at this post.

Leading me

Many times I feel unprepared to lead my life. (Okay, a lot!) I have an almost 16 year old, an almost 9 year old, an almost 7 year old, an almost 4 year old and a newborn baby. (Want to take a nap now? Yeah, me too.) I have no idea how to handle this task. I rely on my past experiences and wisdom from the Lord daily. Other than that, in many ways, it is "blind leading the blind". At least it feels that way. I spend lots of time at Jesus' feet, asking Him what I should be doing, asking Him to show me the way. I guess if I have to spend time anywhere, that is a great place.

Where I live and where I am raising my children is very unlike anything I have ever known. It has been my struggle for the past 11 years. In some ways, it is good. I see the benefits. In other ways, it makes living difficult. Things are still unfamiliar to me. It is in these moments where I have to say, "Lord I accept Your will. I don't like Your will, but I accept it." I also hold on to what He tells me. He tells me He will guide me, He will show me the way, day by day. I don't need to be confused, He knows the way.

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, 

along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.
~Isaiah 42:16

Great friends part two

Remember this?

Great friends----

~clean your kitchen for you

~discipline* your kids for you--and you don't mind

~love on your babies--and really love them

~sit and talk dreams with you

~tell the truth--speak the truth in love, and aren't afraid to

~love you for who you are

thanks b!

What do great friends do for you?

*by this, I mean they will call your child out if they are not obeying or not doing what they should. They back you up.