She had three beautiful boys, two who looked liked twins.
"Are they twins?" I asked.
"No," she replied. "They are 15 months apart. One's off the charts, the other made up his own chart."
We laughed together at this. Doctors and their "charts" and what "percentile" their babies are in is something mama's laugh at together. We instinctively know all our babies are different.
She was tiny. I remarked that her husband must be a big man for her to have such big boys, since she was so tiny.
She looked uncomfortable. I sensed it, being the sensitive person I am.
The elevator door opened and she quickly pushed her double stroller out, talking as she moved.
"Yes, their father is big, and I am tiny, but they were born in my heart, and their birth mother is very big." She said, very quickly, and (I don't know?) hesitantly?
"Have a good day," she said and smiled as she strolled away.
And I wanted to yell, "Wait!"
"Wait! I know what that feels like!"
I know what that feels like to have a child birthed in your heart....to wonder if you have to explain their story or not?
I wanted to say, "Yes, yes, I know! You see, my husband was married very young and they had a child, and then they got divorced and then the mother died tragically, and I met them when she (my daughter) was three and we married when she was five....."
"....and I became her mother, and I'm the only mother she's ever known, and she was born in my heart, and she calls me mom..."
"...and I adopted her, so it's real, it's really real...."
"...and that's why I look so young to have a 17 year old...that explains some things, no?"
I know those feelings of insecurity when it comes to adoption. How to explain, what to say, what not to say.
I wanted her to know I understood.
But she didn't know my story. And I didn't know hers.
And that is all the more reason to extend love, understanding and grace and mercy to others.
It says in Psalm 139:"You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain."
He knows us. We matter. Above all, above anything else the thoughts He has for us are great.
How much easier it is for Him to extend love, mercy and grace on us because He knows us.
And how much easier it is for us to extend love, mercy and grace to others when We know Him.
Stacy's adoption/foster care series It's so good! (This is the introduction post.)