Monday, November 22, 2010

Setting us free

An anonymous reader wrote me:

I read your blog. I don't think I've ever commented. When I read your November 15th post this morning I was encouraged. My family sponsors a child through Compassion. We decided over the weekend to sponsor another child. A girl this time. So, tonight we'll all huddle around the computer screen and choose. What a blessing.
And then I scrolled down and came across your Knowing post. And as I read I just came undone. Right there at my desk while the children played a pre-breakfast game of Bananagrams. You see, our sixth child was born last December. A girl. "Bookends", people said. A sixteen year old girl, a newborn baby girl and four boys in between. Life was good. And then (here's the short version) seven months later a baby girl is born into our extended family. She was supposed to be given up for adoption. Then it's decided that my husband and I will adopt her. And God in His great mercy pours this cement called Love into our hearts and we are just simply mom and dad. And our older baby is very tiny and our new baby is big so they are almost the same size now. One is very fair and one is dark. A pair of hazel eyes. A pair of chocolate eyes. Silky blonde hair. Silky dark hair. Beauties. And now I am the mom who people stop and ask, "are they twins?" Or, more often than not, they declare, "twins!" And at first I would say, "no, they are seven months apart." Well, people want to know how that works and so we'd tell them we're adopting. And then questions about where we got her. And that's when I started wanting to retreat and be private. Sometimes I want to say, "you may ask where I got my shoes, but not where I got my daughter." But I don't want to be unkind. Or sarcastic. I just don't know what to say. How do you know what to say? And then there was that couple at the park who was asking only because their son and daughter-in-law have waited and prayed so long for a baby. And we were able to encourage them. And they encouraged us. But sometimes people act like we have done a great thing. Like we have saved her somehow. And I want to say, "no! It's not like that. The Lord has blessed us with this sweet baby. And he has given us these circumstances to teach us to trust Him, to be utterly dependent on Him." Some weeks there are calls to and from the attorney, a visit from the social worker, more paperwork. It is all a bit much at times. But life is good because He is good. So I keep casting myself at the foot of the cross. Where else can I go?
And so today I came across your words and they were like a soothing balm. I didn't feel so alone. I confess sometimes I feel alone in this. I'm not. My Lord is faithful. My husband is amazing. I have wonderful, caring children. We know many families who have adopted. Just under different circumstances. And today there was you. Thanks for having those words contact me on your blog. Thank you for sharing.

And this, friends, is why I blog.
To share stories, to help heal myself so I can help others heal and so they can heal me. This anonymous reader's story healed me.
And, similarly, what my duty as a Christian is.
To share, encourage, be authentic, open myself up to others.
So Jesus' love can set us free.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'll be back next week.

~ps. much thanks a. for letting me share your story on here.


Linda said...

Oh Andrea - yes. This is the heart of it - this giving of ourselves through the written word so that the Father can take them and use them according to His purposes.
This just makes my heart sing!

Famaddict said...

The Lord is so good that He can use us even in our brokenness to help heal each other. Have a wonderful trip!

L.L. Barkat said...

Sharing our words, and our lives. Yes.