Letting go

My oldest daughter is at that age (16 and 3 quarters) where I have to consciously let go of her in small ways, trust the Lord, and pray, pray, pray. (not that any other age is different, but moms of teens will understand this more.)

My husband and I have purposely made a decision in our parenting that we are not the "god" of our children. We certainly do not control them, nor do we control the outcome of them. It is madness to try to orchestrate every detail of their life. We can't do it with our own life, so why do we think we could do it with theirs?

Don't get me wrong. We are parents who are very involved in our children's lives. We are involved in their decision making, involved in setting boundaries for them, (notice I didn't say "rules") involved and attentive in influencing them, but we try to parent with much grace. God's grace, that is. 'Cause if we didn't have that, well--it wouldn't be pretty. For them or us.

It is hard to let my teen go. I have no choice but to trust her and ultimately trust God who knows all things.

Trusting God doesn't mean that all things will fall into place the way I want them to. Trusting God with my teen doesn't mean she won't make a mistake or a bad choice. She is a human, a sinful human--as we all are. And all our attempts at parenting her "the right way" doesn't always mean that she will "turn out all right." My husband and I just try to be obedient to Him, leaving the outcome to Him. That's trusting Him.

I have come to the point in my parenting journey that I have to be okay with my kids making mistakes. I have to trust God that even if they don't make the right choice, that in the end He "does all for the good of those who love Him."(Romans 8:28) And even if I don't see that good in this lifetime, I still have to trust Him.

Savior, like a shepherd lead us...

Savior, like a shepherd lead us, much we need Thy tender care;

In Thy pleasant pastures feed us, for our use Thy folds prepare.

Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus! Thou hast bought us, Thine we are.

Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus! Thou hast bought us, Thine we are.

Enjoy your Sabbath, everyone.

Making my home

I'm putting up paint colors on my wall, because we are planning to paint our "great room" with a "color", since it has been "white" ever since we moved in.

We live in a newer home (built in 2004) that was studs when we bought it.

We got to pick the paint colors, tile, cabinets, and appliances, which was very nice.

The thing about newer homes is that they are very comfortable to live in, but lack the character of older homes that my husband and I love.

The two previous homes I lived in with my husband were very old homes with a lot of character. Older homes are wonderful, but they are a lot of work. In our previous home, built in 1890, we had to replace the septic, get new roofing on many parts of the house, and live with quirky rooms that never heated evenly. :) It had almost 3 acres and that was a lot of yard to keep up with when you have a husband who commutes to NYC for work every day. There just were never enough hours for the house, work, and family time.

When we decided to move from that house, to have a better commute, and to not be a slave to the upkeep of our home, we were drawn to a newer home because, well, the "newness" of it, but also the home we finally chose was in the price range of homes we looked at that "needed work". It was a no-brainer to pick one that didn't need work.

So we've set to work on this home we are now in, trying to add character to a house that doesn't have quirky rooms and charming details.

We added our own.

And have furnished it with mostly flea market finds, since that is essentially the way we like to design: "flea market style" or even "frugal farmhouse." 

I love our home. Yes, it takes a ridiculous amount of oil to heat it and give us hot water, which is not my favorite thing about it, but it fits our whole crew well, it's comfortable,  and we've made it our place.

I've learned over the years, living in many different homes and living in a part of the country that doesn't feel like "home" to me that you really can and should make the best of where you are. Maybe you don't like your home--it's too small, it's not your "style", it's not "decorated", it's messy, it's in a town you don't like, etc etc,--you really can take what God has given you and He can multiply its use in ways you would never dream of. He loves to do stuff like that.

Holding lightly

Thanks to the brilliant Kari Jo for her quote from Paul Miller's book Love Walked Among Us: Learning to Love like Jesus:

(his description of Jesus)

::'because He holds onto His time and schedule so lightly, He doesn't get irritated at being interuppted.'::

yes.

I want to live in God's time.

Not my time.

And I've realized God almost always requires us to connect with people over our things.

Oh, I've been working on this intently and steadily for over a year now.

Putting down my book or housework to listen to my boy explain his lego creation for the billionth time.

Sitting with my teen and listening to her talk though I am so tired and just want to go to bed.

Making every effort to listen to a friend who needs to talk though much is waiting for me to do.

Trying to focus on my husband talk about his struggles at work even though I've heard them over and over and over again. =)

Lord, help me hold lightly to my time and embrace Your time.

Related, from the archives: Relationship over...

Friday five (beauty edition)

Five of my favorite beauty products:

1. Almay Bright Eyes Eye Shadow

I love the creamy eye shadow. Easy to put on, and it brightens my eyes without looking overdone.

2. Aveda Rosemary mint shampoo and conditioner.

Sorry, I could never go Poo free. I love my Aveda shampoo too much. I love the scent and it's great for my hair.

3. Basic Organics Lip Ointment. I found this in a mom and pop drugstore near my home on a whim. I love the big container it comes in, and it's perfect for shining up my lips in a quick moment.

4. Pedicures. When my toes are clipped and painted, I "feel" like something in my life is put together.

5. Regular haircuts. It's only in the past year that I have paid attention to trimming my hair on a regular basis. It keeps my hair healthy and it's an easy way to also feel "put-together".

What are your beauty faves?

knock, knock?

who's there?

andrea's blog.

andrea's blog who?

andrea's blog who's been neglected, that's who!

yeah, lame joke. =)

life is busy and full now.

i have so much to say, but no time to say it. 

this month is busy to say the least.

a lot going on.

i miss this place.

but i'll be back.

see you soon!

Friday five (link edition)

Thankful for....

1. Bobobabes

2. Happy posts 3. Ann's heart, soul, and words 3. Wise mamas who share their wisdom 4. Love. 5. Letter writing: yesssss.

Happy weekend!

I prefer messy.

Last Wednesday had me scrubbing my oven, inside and out. I'd had enough of the smoke alarm going off every time I turned the thing on. I couldn't even use it.

It occurred to me, during the meditative scrubbing, that it would have never gotten a good scrubbing unless the messiness called out to me.

Sorta like my life.

Often I ignore symptoms until they are messy. Ignore the alarm until I'm too dirty.

That's why we take it to Jesus every day.

Tell Him every day what's going on inside our complicated minds and souls.

Lay it at His feet everyday.

Confess that messiness daily.

We are messy people, and letting messy go too long makes us unusable.

I don't like a messy house. But keeping up with it is impossible with five children.

So I let a lot go.....trust Him. Ask Him what I would do.

So the messiness allows me to turn to Him.

Messiness is vulnerable.

It tells others: I am needy. I am not perfect. I am confused.

I am in need of a Savior.

Messiness is uncomfortable.

Don't you want life tied up in neat boxes? Checked that one off the list. Move on. Nope. Messiness is not like that.

Messiness is dirty.

Messiness says "I'm dirty." I'm not worthy without Him. I need Him to make things right.

I confess that I'm "messy". I'm not perfect. I have insecurities. I have misunderstandings. I'm dirty.

I need a Savior.

I prefer messy.