Summre! {sic}

Do you have a "summer list"? It's a list of things you want to do in the summer.

(Clearly, we need to practice how to spell "summer". ;))

We won't do all of these things, but it gives us a framework as to how we want our summer to go.

We were able to check one thing off our list last night. (though I'm sure this won't be the only time we go here.)

{Oldest and youngest.}

Do you have a "summer list"?

Sabbath

Trading silly bands.

Towels drying outside.

Texting daddy.

Candles.

If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather 'til I only dwell in Thee?
If I flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'Til I only dwell in Thee


If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision 'til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
'Til I only dwell in Thee

~Brooke Fraser "Hymn"

Weekend reads

Why email may be hurting off line relationships

For the sake of a dying art
Five kinds of letters
You are real

Happy weekend!!!!!


Photo from here.

Every perfect gift...

This week has been a hard week. Hey, what am I saying? The past two months have been rough.

The month of May had my husband away on business for a total of almost three weeks. He was home for the weekends but during the week was gone. This month he has been working late almost every night. (Late means, I don't see him at all.) I'm living the life of a single mom! I'm not complainin', just explainin'. I know that a lot of you moms out there understand how hard it is to have your husband be away or work late. One of my most popular and most searched for posts on this blog is: How to survive when your husband works late or is out of town.

This week was especially hard. The cumulative weeks of my husband not being around to help with dinner and bedtime--plus I just miss him--have worn me out. The baby is teething, the kids are arguing too much.....I'm-a goin' craz-ay!

Today I was at the grocery store looking for hydrangeas. They are one of my most favorite flowers. I wanted something to cheer me up, and fresh flowers seemed to be the thing to do it.

Of course I couldn't find any. I texted my husband to bring home some hydrangeas when he came home from work. You can find all kinds of flowers on the streets of New York City.

As I was putting away the groceries, I got a phone call from the local florist in our town. Would I be home? There was a delivery for me. For me??!! I've never had flowers delivered to me except when I had a new baby. For a minute I thought of my husband. It is just like him to do something like that. (Yeah, he's awesome.)

The doorbell rang. Imagine my surprise when I saw the delivery guy standing there with not one but TWO bouquets of flowers!! Stunned, I took them inside. I knew who the hydrangeas were from, but the sunflowers?

Maybe my husband sent me another bouquet? He does like sunflowers. And he knows how hard the weeks have been for me.

I looked at the card and realized that the sunflowers were not from my husband but from my good friend Betsy. Last weekend we watched their children while they went out of state for a wedding. The flowers were a thank you, but her words to me were so special.

I ask you, reader: When have you ever had two surprise bouquets delivered to your door out of the blue???

I cried upon reading Betsy's note and my husband's sweet words.

I felt loved.

I felt like--God knew just what I needed today.

He always does.

He knew I needed to feel loved.

He knew I needed to have something pretty to look at in my home.

A tangible reminder that He is always there.

You have been a refuge for the poor,

a refuge for the needy in his distress,

a shelter from the storm

and a shade from the heat.

~Isaiah 25:4

So when I (tried) to rock a screaming, teething baby tonight, I thought about my hydrangeas.

When I had to corral all the children for dinner and baths, etc, etc, ETC!! I thought about the sunflowers. And it made my job much easier.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ~James 1:17

Father's day gift

Want to know how to get a cute little handprint like this?

(Man, it's cute.)

Buy basic black frames at your local craft store. (I have five children, so I bought five frames.)

Get each of your children's handprints on watercolor paper. I used a big stamp pad to get their handprints. (I look at this lineup of children in disbelief sometimes. All different size handprints. all different people, all different personalities, all different needs, and I am their caretaker? Lord, help me. ((I mean that.))

The cheap black frames usually come with matting. Position your handprints in the matting.

And..Viola!

You have a Father's Day gift for the father of your children! (Or birthday, or whatever.)

(side note: I wrote their names in the bottom right hand corner of the prints and put the date.)

Andrea, it's not about you.

A few weeks ago I was feeling rejected because something that I had done that I thought deserved praise, did not in fact receive praise.

Come on now, you have to have done that before.

I thought--through all this effort, and no one notices or says anything.

I thought--how rude.

I thought--no one cares about me.

And I thought about C.S. Lewis:

"We must not think Pride is something God forbids because He is offended at it, or that Humility is something He demands as due to His own dignity — as if God Himself was proud. He is not in the least worried about His dignity. The point is, He wants you to know Him: wants to give you Himself. And He and you are two things of such a kind that if you really get into any kind of touch with Him you will, in fact, be humble — delightedly humble, feeling the infinite relief of having for once got rid of all the silly nonsense about your own dignity which has made you restless and unhappy all your life."

~C.S. Lewis

Reflections on Communication

"The sturdy, dependable nature of a piece of mail is really the crux of its charm. Mail has long been a way of showing that you've taken the time to consider what you want to say to someone; phone calls and even emails don't require the same level of reflection....."

from the book Obsolete by Anna Jane Grossman

Personally, when it comes down to it, I prefer face to face interaction. Details, facial expressions, body language all get lost in email. Phone calls come a close second to face to face. At least it's conversation in real time.

Now, I'm not against email per se. It has its place. I use it all the time! It's easy and convenient, especially for a busy mother like me. But there's just something to be said about picking up the phone, or face-to-face to connection with someone.

Letter writing is a whole other thing. It takes time and thought, more so than email and phone to compose and write thoughts. Such a gift!

April was National Letter Writing Month but that doesn't mean that you can't start writing letters now! Sara recently wrote a fabulous post on letter writing that has even inspired me and a few friends of mine scattered across the country to start our own "Red Robin Letter" group! I am really looking forward to it!

"Modern technology, however, has made the impossible possible. We can go through all the niceties of making plans without any of the follow-through, allowing us to let people think we want to see them without actually having to inconvenience ourselves to that extent. If you're feeling lazy or if something better has come along, there's no need to do jumping jacks before dialing the cancelee's number in order to convince her how exhausted and overextended you are, or to force your daughter to cry in the background to back up your claim of being held hostage by an enraged toddler--a simple "I'm crazy busy today, can we reschedule?" via email or text message does the job. There may still be some feelings of guilt involved, which is why we often wait until the last minute to cancel in the hopes that the other person might do the job first." ~Obsolete

Monday morning link love

You'll have to fight for it Great reminder.
For married women only
The lost art of friendship

Interests, reads, etc.

My latest "obsession" is the documentary Grey Gardens and the HBO movie Grey Gardens. I'm such a sucker for memoirs, true life stories and history. Once I find something I enjoy, I am fixated on it, trying to find out all I can about it. 

I also read the latest book on the Columbine massacre Columbine by Dave Cullen. Heaven knows why I picked this out at the library when I saw it. It was troubling, fascinating, heavy...one of those books I was up until 1 a.m. reading. 

Also read The Long Emergency. Another fascinating, troubling, yet not surprising read.
A funny, light read: I Was Told There'd Be Cake by Sloan Crosley. I liked it because she grew up in the county I live in now, and her stories of living in New York City were entertaining.
In true form, I have not read anything on my 2010 book list: 2010 book list. Best I better get to reading.....
What are you enjoying lately?

Mama Monday

Today I am so excited to bring you another Mama Monday!! Katherine is the author of the excellent blog Raising Five. I have been a long time reader of Katherine's blog. She is also a good friend of mine--we've emailed back and forth many, many, times (mostly about teenagers!) and I truly appreciate her realness, honesty, and imperfection that comes across in her posts. Some of my favorites include: Ever feel out of control?, Ask for help, Fatigue, Trusting, I still remember, Once and for all parenting, Perfect or best?

(it's so hard to even pick!)

With five children at many different ages, I have always identified with her life immensely. It is worth a long sit-down going through her archives. She needs to write a book!

Katherine and her husband

Peach trees in their yard

Raising Five....

Ladies, I bring you Katherine:

1. greatest thing about being a mom: Those moments when your kid (even more exhilarating when this kid is a teen and you have recently grounded him or her) says, "You know, you and Dad are pretty cool."

2. hardest thing: Watching kids make mistakes and not jumping in to rescue them when they experience the consequences of their actions.

3. how do you find balance in your life: 1. Talk - really talk - with my husband every day. Sounds so simple, but it is really a challenge some days. 2. Journal - helps me sort out feeling from fact. 3. Take a 15 minute power nap in the afternoon whenever I can. 4. Have interests outside of kids and house - gardening is that thing for me - gives me a few moments of solitude, and lets me enjoy nature and take care of something beautiful that won't need braces and a college education some day. 5. Talk to people ahead of me on the path to give me perspective. I had thirteen straight years with little ones in diapers, and I needed this often. Now I seek out moms with older teens. 6. Ask God to fill the voids in my children's lives - keeps me from trying to do/be everything, and keeps me from feeling a sense of guilt when things aren't going as *I* think they should be going, which is pretty much every day. 7. Ask for specific help - for me this is usually physical help because so many things pull me in different directions - from asking another parent to carpool rather than driving everywhere myself, to asking my husband or kids to help with certain things. After all these years together, they STILL can't read my mind! My husband does the grocery shopping and makes SEVEN lunches every.single.morning. The kids keep the same chore (usually one they like) for a long time so it becomes routine.

4. hobbies/interests: Journaling (I've kept a journal since I was 12), gardening/landscaping our 1.5 acre plot of weeds. I used to say blogging, but that's on the back burner for this season.

5. life with five children is--Getting better and better! I loved having babies and preschoolers and I'm enjoying elementary/middle school years. I was so terrified of having teens, but I am absolutely intrigued by this age - they are becoming abstract thinkers, beginning to make decisions based on their convictions, and are not afraid to ask tough questions. They will not tolerate anything phony, and they seem to know their friends are also seeking something real. It's been amazing to open our home, let them see a real family (note I did not say perfect), and along the way, show them the way to Christ (usually this involves lots of food).

6. favorite blogs or websites - Don't have much time for blogs lately, not even my own! I have made some very special friends through blogging, though, like Andrea. I love you! Some day we shall meet!

7. I couldn't live without--Besides my husband Dennis (my rock), my sister Rachel Anne (my listening ear), the Bible (my anchor): morning coffee, power naps, hugs, flowers.

8. favorite thing to do with your family - Have family dinner together Sundays after church.

9. favorite food - Quesadillas, chips and salsa - almost anything Mexican

10. favorite treat - M&Ms, Twix, and homemade chocolate chip cookies.

11. 3 books that changed your life - Many have influenced me, but only one has changed my life, God's Word.

12. parenting "epiphany" - When I realized parenting wasn't about "fixing" my kids, but unconditionally loving, accepting, and forgiving them, just as God does for us.

13. verses that comfort you - Too many to count. Psalm 46 - God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will we not fear, though the earth be removed and the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea, though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof... (I learned it in King James Version - it still speaks to me, especially since it describes my emotions on any given day!).

Thank you Katherine!!!!