Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Checking it twice...

She decided to make a list. This almost-11-year-old daughter of mine. Her version of who was naughty and who was nice. And this mama--me--cringed at the keeping of wrongs and rights. Me--this mama who is wounded easily by wrongs. Who struggles with forgiveness and starting over again and laying it down at His feet daily--sometimes multiple times daily.
Who holds on to hurts like a fortune teller holds a crystal ball--carefully holding it close--rubbing it and replaying the hurt over and over again...

But I've learned this way is not the way to live.

To live in a state of "tit for tat" is not a way to live as though "All is grace." To live in Grace.

I told her the list was not a good idea. That this family {tries} to live in grace and forgiveness and that we don't keep records of wrongs and rights and the Lord doesn't either so we can't either.

It's not right.

And I remember this as I argue with my 18-year-old over days--the same arguments and frustrations that keep surfacing. Lord, what can I let go of here? I'm angry but I realize just below anger is hurt and so I go to the cross--again and again--however long it takes and whatever I have to do to live in Grace and Forgiveness: being grateful, choosing to forgive, praying about what to do.

I'm learning.


Aimee said...

beautiful post, friend.

Linda said...

Oh, don't we all struggle with this Andrea? I think, perhaps, the hardest to forgive is ourselves.
You are doing a great job. You are teaching and living out grace. And He comes and offers grace upon grace and all is well.

Alicia said...

Oh, I am just soaking in your words, grace dripping from your key board. Thank you.