The Flourishing Mother

The quiet

2012-01-29T18:28:00.004-05:00

What I am learning in these busy hours that weave into days and weeks around me, is that I must stop. I must find some place to be still and to follow opportunities to quiet places. Early morning walks in the first glow of sun, tea and candlelight waiting after prayers are said and kisses are smooched on foreheads; an hour here or there to spend with pens and crisp new paper, spilling out of my thoughts and prayers, these places of calm are essential to remaining the woman I want to be.

I have been waiting for these moments to come upon me, expecting them to appear and then take hold of them, but I am also learning that I have to build them into the foundations of this life our family is making. I have to create time set apart to be filled with the Word of the scriptures to confess my own depravity, to seek grace in quiet places so that I can cultivate grace in the busy ones.

Today, I am road building, brick laying, making grooves in my routine to fill my own heart, establishing anchors in my life that allow me to stop and rest and grow. The mother, I am finding, who does not take time to fill her own soul has very little to offer the souls in her care.

~Kristen

Hope With Feathers

I've had this quote written down on a scrap piece of paper for awhile, stuck in an old notebook. I just bought a new journal (inspired by the lovely Aimee), and have started to fill it with quotes I've had written on scrap paper. It feels good to organize it all in one place.

I've always had a love/hate relationship with journals. What should it be for? A diary? Thoughts? Sermon notes? Grocery lists? Reminders? I've given up on all that and decided to make my journal *my thing*. It can be all of the above. I've been rising early to read the Bible in 90 days, and afterwards I will sit with my journal and pray, seeing what the Lord is laying on my heart regarding all kinds of things. I will record that. I will record thoughts I have as I am reading. I will write what I need from the grocery store. I will write down the name of someone new I met at church so I can remember next Sunday. I will take sermon notes. Basically, it's a catch-all for me.

The journal spurs me on to finding those quiet moments in the beginning of my day (the best time for me) to think and as Kristen put so well: "these places of calm are essential to remaining the woman I want to be."

The quiet time I am trying to carve out in my day did not come easily, I will say. It's been years of trying to do quiet times at all times of day, trying to rise before babies and young children, and many, many times reading the Bible in the morning with a baby or toddler on my lap. The fact is, I just try to show up for the Lord. And it's only in the last year where I've seen a little light at the end of my tunnel. So I encourage you, wherever you are on this journey of seeking quiet, that do not give up. I do know that I have given up and been hopeless many times, but I just kept showing up and trying all different kinds of ways to find that quiet in my life because I knew it was essential to my mothering and also being a woman of the Lord.

If you feel stuck, here are a compilation of links about making a journal. Perhaps it will spur you on to seek quiet in your life in order to hear Him.

Tutorial on visual homemaking

Simple journaling
100 benefits of journaling
The benefits of keeping a journal
Linda's journal
Write it down
Journaling as a spirtual discipline
Visual homemaking journal
Setting up a visual journal

A new venture....

2012-01-27T10:03:00.006-05:00

Many of you are familiar with Sally Clarkson and her blog I Take Joy. It is a tremendous source of encouragement and inspiration for raising a family and being a mother, among other things. She has written a post asking mothers what kinds of topics they would like to hear about for a new project she is working on. Make sure you go over and read it and leave a comment sharing what topics you would like to read about:
Accomplished, intentional, exceptional women feed the souls of others

Friday five: Five Must Reads

2012-01-20T08:23:00.003-05:00

1. The time to thrive is now Yes!!!!!!!!!
2. Seven ways to keep your home strong The "must-read" of the week
3. It begins early in the home
4. 100 plus ways for your family to make a difference
5. It's all about the baby Helping children overcome jealousy in the family

1000 gifts...

2012-01-16T07:07:00.003-05:00

Whew. It's been awhile since I've counted. I've kept the thankfulness going inside my head for most of the holidays, but now I can continue my list here on my blog.

#240-250

a week of early mornings

staying on track with reading my Bible

God's provisions to a dear family

sharing photos with friends on instagram

a prayer being answered for a friend

being excited about what God is going to do

quietness in the morning

babies that sleeep and let me have that quietness

friends spurring me on to good deeds (oh, how we all need that in our lives!)

supporting and encouraging friends (a gift)

a 3 day weekend with my husband

thankfulness that He provides

Beginnings.

2012-01-09T08:21:00.004-05:00

I always have grand plans in January. I love new starts, I love beginnings. I always think I will spend a day in early January reflecting on my past year, assessing what I've done and experienced, and perhaps coming up with a few resolutions or "word for the year." In theory, I love all of these things. In reality, it is hard to actually do. I'm such an idealist.

But, thankfully, as Christians, we always have new beginnings. (Is that an oxymoron?) We can always be assured that we can start over, begin again, and have new starts. His mercies are new every morning.

Even though I didn't ritually sit down and plan to have new resolutions for the year, I do have some that have come about quite naturally.

1. Read the Bible in 90 days. I just started today. I did this last year with my friend Natalie as an accountability partner. We are now doing it again together this year. I strongly recommend an accountability partner if you are undertaking this. It's one of the best things I've ever done. I am hoping it jump starts me to a solid morning routine which I have been lacking in.

2. I began to knit a hat for my 3rd daughter. Last winter I knitted a scarf for my 2nd oldest. This year it's her turn for some mama-made. Clearly, I am a slow knitter. But she will get her hat sooner or later!

3. As if I didn't have enough reading for the year, I plan this year to do more of that. I've been keeping a yearly log of books I've read the past 3 years, and it's been so fulfilling. What a combination: The autobiography of Keith Richards and the Bible. What can I say? I like variety. I am also reading Honey for a Woman's Heart by Gladys Hunt. The nerd in me loves it. It's basically a book about books and reading.

4. I'm on instagram!! So you can follow me at birchmama if you like. I'm also doing the instagram photo a day in January. I love seeing everyone's photos. Check mine out at #instagramphotoaday.

5. Healthy eating and exercise. This is always a goal of mine. Mainly I am trying to tone up my body, and I plan to do a 2 mile race in March. Better start up my Couch to 5K again....

How about you? Any beginnings you'd like to share?

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T08:25:00.004-05:00

New Year's gives me an excuse to re-evaluate my life and see if I'm headed in the right direction. For me, that is important. Life moves too fast and the world catches you up, so I find if I don't do that, then I'm floundering.

Just sharing some recent reads that I found inspiring and enjoyed. I hope you enjoy this day and enjoy the reads as well. I am looking forward to seeing what 2012 brings....

Your house is only as big as your hospitality Really praying how to open our home this year.

Creating spaces of personal time focused on hearing hearts Sally gives great words of encouragement how to nurture our children's hearts by creating personal time with them. I would like to put more effort into this this year with my own children.

Rejoicing

2011-12-20T08:17:00.003-05:00

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas!

I will be back in this space next week!

Friday five

2011-12-16T08:15:00.002-05:00

1. My status on facebook yesterday was "mom guilt sucks". So many people wrote comments to encourage me. I know it's a common thing, but it does suck. And it's not right to have guilt over things that are not sin. All the comments just reminded me that we need each other to get through all this. Who can you encourage today?

2. Speaking of encouragement, a wonderful man in our church came up to me last Sunday and asked me "What can we do for your family?" Can I tell you how I rode on that all week? Those words, the knowing that he was thinking of us, helped me through the tough parts of the week. (And believe me, there were a lot of tough parts this week.)

3. Done with Christmas shopping. I always try to find the right balance each year of shunning consumerism but yet embracing the gift giving. I think it will always be a work in process and I'm ok with that. So thankful for

Ann Voskamp's free Jesse Tree devotional. We have done it the past 2 years and it has been so wonderful keeping our perspective where it should be this Advent season.

4. This week, I really liked this post on staying positive. Just some real good practical help for mamas.

5. What's your favorite Christmas cookie? We like this one
Happy weekend everyone!

Glorious humility

2011-12-15T09:27:00.000-05:00

My first baby will be celebrating a birthday next week. Before I had her, I thought I knew most everything about babies. But, as we mothers all know, the more children you have, the more you learn this is not true, and you are served a big slice of humble pie.

She was 16 hours of labor, a third degree tear, and colicky. This was not my sweet angel baby I had imagined. She did not want to snuggle against me, instead, as I held her in the cradle hold, she would arch her back. I had to hold her down in my arms to get her to sleep.

I remember being in the hospital, after the birth; tired, and sore, and feeling not willing or able to care for this baby who lay beside me in the hospital crib. I remember thinking: "I want her back in there!"

Thankfully, I had a husband who was willing and able to be hands-on with the care of this baby. I don't know if I could have done it without him those first three months. I also learned more about the power of leaning on Him for strength in this mothering thing. I made more room for Him in my heart.

Today, this same daughter is my sweet soul. She is quiet, sensitive, kind, content, and helpful. She is a gem, a pearl of mine.

A few months after I had gotten settled into this mothering thing, this mothering thing of being a mother to a baby, and feeling more comfortable, I was watching Jesus of Nazareth with my husband.

The story of His birth became the most real to me as it had ever become.

I watched Mary, the mother of the King, ride on a donkey, in labor. Can you imagine?

What? No room in the inn? It's insulting that no one would make room for this heavily pregnant woman, traveling this long way with a tired husband. And this baby is the Son of God! He is God! Shouldn't God have perfect circumstances? Shouldn't Mary's labor be easy, shouldn't Jesus have the best birth accomodations? It seems ridiculous that there was no room at the inn. Shouldn't God have planned better? (You know, like I did. Baby care classes, natural birth classes, I was going to have the BEST baby and birth!)

But He did. He planned very well. He showed up in the glory of humility. And I learned it too, through the birth of my baby. I wouldn't have planned it any other way.

I am reminded of something Katherine wrote a few days ago: " God enjoys showing up when circumstances are less than ideal."

God is there, even when there seems like no room. Even when circumstances are not what you planned. He humbles, and that is the best way. It's always good to be humbled. Especially in parenting.

Today was our Christmas pageant at our church. My darling daughter shone like the angel she is and portrayed. I fixed her hair like the little girl in this picture. (I saw the end of "It's a Wonderful Life" last night.) She sang her heart out, she glowed, she was brilliant.

"Joy to the World! The Lord is come! Let Earth receive Her King! Let every Heart prepare Him room! And Heaven and Nature sing! And Heaven and Nature sing! And Heh-eh-eh-eh-eh-ven Na-Chure Sing!"

(reposted from archives, December 2006)

Multitude Monday: 1000 gifts

2011-12-11T21:02:00.002-05:00

#231-240

The rude man working the deli counter

A nice stranger behind me

Tears

Speaking truth words to him

A response, other than rudeness, from him

Empathy from my children. "What's wrong, mama?"

A successful birthday sleepover party

Blessing my 11 (!) year old daughter

Surviving a hard week

Ending it with a pre-Christmas Christmas dinner with dear friends

Checking it twice...

2011-12-07T20:35:00.002-05:00

She decided to make a list. This almost-11-year-old daughter of mine. Her version of who was naughty and who was nice. And this mama--me--cringed at the keeping of wrongs and rights. Me--this mama who is wounded easily by wrongs. Who struggles with forgiveness and starting over again and laying it down at His feet daily--sometimes multiple times daily.

Who holds on to hurts like a fortune teller holds a crystal ball--carefully holding it close--rubbing it and replaying the hurt over and over again...

But I've learned this way is not the way to live.

To live in a state of "tit for tat" is not a way to live as though "All is grace." To live in Grace.

I told her the list was not a good idea. That this family {tries} to live in grace and forgiveness and that we don't keep records of wrongs and rights and the Lord doesn't either so we can't either.

It's not right.

And I remember this as I argue with my 18-year-old over days--the same arguments and frustrations that keep surfacing. Lord, what can I let go of here? I'm angry but I realize just below anger is hurt and so I go to the cross--again and again--however long it takes and whatever I have to do to live in Grace and Forgiveness: being grateful, choosing to forgive, praying about what to do.

I'm learning.

Multitude Monday: 1000 gifts

2011-12-04T20:29:00.003-05:00

#203-228

the ugly-beautiful

2 nights of homemade chocolate chip cookies

French tea and a sewing circle

13 years of marriage

linguine and clams-all eaten up

hard words shared with a teen

praying and hearing from the Lord from said words

learning to be thankful in all circumstances-practicing overcoming my soul amnesia

healing

a train ride into the city to think and reflect

brunch with 2 sister in laws

the perfect tree

the Jesse tree

"i have 2 questions, mama."

talking and learning about God's word together

seeing His story from beginning to end

another full week ahead

God's eyes

2011-11-29T15:00:00.001-05:00

It used to be very hard to come back to New York after traveling to see family. I was homesick, to be sure; but flying into JFK or LaGuardia, I smelled New York. And I didn't like it. I was grumpy, foggy-headed. No one seemed helpful, no one was friendly. Looking at the dirty streets, graffiti walls, and trash filled alleys on our way out of the Bronx depressed me. I was never really happy to be home.

I complained frequently to the Lord: "Why do I have to live here? Why do I have to raise my family here? Why. can't. it. be. perfect." In my eyes, New York was devoid of family, faith, comfort and connection. It was dirty and smelly, a wasteland to grow in.

But it wasn't until I began to really trust the Lord, to really say to Him, "Lord, I hate living here. I hate the cost of living, hate that everyone is in a rush, hate the pace of life, hate, hate hate.... but nevertheless...Your Will..." that I began to see things in His eyes.

Seeing things through God's eyes can come about in a myriad of ways. It comes through being honest with Him, through sharing our hearts and laments with Him, by having that intimate relationship with Him. It comes through practicing eucharisteo, the "life-filling gratitude", that makes what we have... into enough.

Driving home the other night from the airport towards our home, I chose to embrace the seemingly "imperfect" parts of New York. I chose to find beauty and comfort in the cement wastelands, the dirty canals of the sound that line the freeway. I am home, I thought.

There was a beautiful sunset outside our window. A cemetery is across the street from our house. I took a walk, right outside my door, and I saw; as Ann says: that wild grace. Beauty across the street from me, in the cemetery. Because I chose to see with God's eyes.

“God's viewpoint is sometimes different from ours - so different that we could not even guess at it unless He had given us a Book which tells us such things...."

― Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

Multitude Monday: 1000 gifts

2011-11-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

#173-202

a safe trip to and from Utah where my in-laws live

relatively easy flight with 5 children

having the opportunity to visit one of my favorite states

the mountains on the way in

cafe rio, cafe trang, crown burgers, the fabulous folks at chick-fil-a

planning and cooking dinner with my mother in laws and sister in laws

sharing the load of the work in the kitchen

a crowded Thanksgiving table

lots of cousins

delicious stuffing

delicious apple pie

visiting dear friends

a grocery store turned aquarium

one of the best massages ever

traveling the streets of downtown Salt Lake with a grin on my face

seeing how the Lord placed me there so perfectly

in awe of His ways

my favorite boutique

listening to Christmas music while browsing

meeting a dear friend for lunch

sharing about contentment and gratitude

thankful she is still in my life in a small way

spending time with family

sharing hearts

laughing

a day to get the house in order before starting a new week

routine and order

getting out ourJesse Tree devotional book and setting up our tree

a paper garland from her waiting for me in the mail

a box of goodies from Mountain Rose Herbs to make some Christmas gifts with

Thursday threes

2011-11-17T08:08:00.002-05:00

Okay, so it's not "Friday five" but "Thursday three's".

1. I can't believe it will be Thanksgiving next week. I think I've learned to do a lot of my Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving, because as soon as Thanksgiving is over the holidays are in full swing. I'm a slow learner.

2. What are your kids asking for this Christmas? I used to go back and forth whether I would let them write a Christmas list or not. I think I've found a good rhythm with it. They write a list (which, honestly, I like, because I get to see what their true "wants" are...), then we do

Operation Christmas Child (which is so rewarding to do with the children), then we make a "wish list" from the Compassion International catalog on what we would like to give, and then through the holidays we have a "Jesus Jar" in which we put money into it for "Jesus' birthday", which will eventually go towards the Compassion's children's needs.

3. I'm taking a break to enjoy Thanksgiving week next week. See you after that! And have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Living in the slow

2011-11-15T08:35:00.007-05:00

"Childhood scenes rushed back at me out of the night, strangely close and urgent. Today I know that such memories are the key not to the past, but to the future. I know that the experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the will He will give us to do." ~Corrie ten Boom "The Hiding Place"

I am reminded to stay in the moment as I look at this little print leaned up against the wall beside my sink. It's very easy, in the busyness of motherhood, to be thinking of what needs to be done, next. I have to remember to savor this moment in the now, no matter if it's my 2 year old needing discipline or that I need to sit at the kitchen table and just "be" with my children in the moment. I have to remember these things for many reasons. They are fleeting moments to be sure. The are moments that in each and every one are preparing me for His will. If I miss them, I will miss the lesson that He would have me learn. But most of all I try to live in the moment to cherish those connections with my children. To keep them hidden in the memory of my heart, as Mary did. I don't want to miss a single thing that the Lord would have me see.

"Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing...Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away." ~from Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts

**I first saw the Be Here Now print at Elise's kitchen sink and immediately did a search on Etsy to see if I could find one for my own kitchen sink. I absolutely love it, and love the reminder of it every day.

Multitude Monday: 1000 gifts

2011-11-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

#164-171

surviving a week without my husband with much grace

extra energy to make it through the week

my children going the extra mile to help out

being able to take a nap on those days that my teething 2 year old was up crying all night

reading Corrie ten Boom's The Hiding Place. no words.

not having to get out the winter coats yet

safe travels

sister love

welcoming Daddy home

Friday five

2011-11-11T07:15:00.006-05:00

1. Harry Potter. My children are obsessed. I know, I know--"She let's her children read Harry Potter?" Yes, I do. I used to be totally against it. Witchcraft? Wizards? No thanks. Not for my children. But then I read this article and I changed my stance. I always think it's best to let a fad run it's course first before deciding if my children should have a part of it. That's just me. The rule in the house is that you must read the book before you can watch the movie. I've changed my stance on many ideals. It's good to do that, I think. To know that the Christian life is not about blacks and whites. But there is much gray. And we are always changing. I like that.

2. I enjoyed the leaves on the trees for about 5 minutes this week. Now there is a huge gusty wind and they are all falling off. But we've had some warm days this week and I've been thankful for that. Still not ready to embrace winter yet.

3.Did you know Etsy is a great place to Christmas shop? I just got a lot of my Christmas shopping done on Etsy this week.

4. Last year I had the privilege of sitting in a small group of women in a living room and listening to Sally Clarkson share stories of mothering. One thing that stuck with me is her encouragement in that a lot of parenting is saying, "not this. this.". This is constant in my home. "That was not a kind way to talk. This way would have been nicer." I'm big on speaking kindly in my home. Anyway, on weeks (like this one) where I feel like that's all I'm saying, it's nice to know I am doing what I am supposed to.

5. Just been thinking all week about How God really knows how to meet needs. How He goes before us in all situations and how comforting that is.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Let the mother play for goodness sakes!

2011-11-10T11:58:00.005-05:00

I've gotten a few emails lately on burn out. It might be that time of year where the newness of the new school year has worn off and we're in the nitty gritty. I know I've written extensively about the subject here, along with my own experiences with burn out.

It seems to me that a huge part of burn-out is the mother not allowing herself to "play". I think of Karen Andreola, writer of the Charlotte Mason Companion urging: "Let the mother out to play!" This could mean many things. A day away from the children, doing what you love to do, time to clean out that drawer that has been bothering you, re-arranging the furniture in your house, taking time to exercise, meeting a friend for tea and uninterrupted conversation, reading a book, and so on. The principle is that you take time away from the duties in your life and just "play" so it refreshes you. Of course, that is just a start when you are dealing with burn out/depression. I also just wanted to direct you all to Elizabeth's posts on burnout as well as a very good post by my friend Kristen on Building An Anchor.

Bring them unto me

2011-11-07T20:36:00.003-05:00

Lately, the book being read in my house several times a day, per my toddler's request, is the very sweet (and repetitive) Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney. It's not necessarily a favorite of mine, but certainly a much welcome change from Goodnight Moon, or " 'Night Oon", as my little boy says. This book has us all beating one another to the punch: I love you higher than the moon! I love you higher than heaven! I love you higher than one hundred sixty five! And so on. It's also given us leeway to talk about love. Mama, I love you THIS MUCH, but I love Jesus more. Yes, darling, me too. It sounds so strange to say I love Jesus more than you; my own flesh and blood, who I would die for, but I do. That's the way it should be. He made us, we love Him best. Which also gives us leeway to discuss Abraham and Issac, and the fact that God wanted Abraham to sacrifice his only son on an altar. It sounds so strange, but that's the way God wanted to know Abraham trusted Him. That's love. You know I love my children...mere words could not express, and that is the truth. So when I worry about them, I'm continually having to put them on His altar. I'm continually having to trust Him. To accept His grace. It seems so strange to say I love them so much I will place them on that scary altar; but I know in the end, they are truly in His hands. And I'm much the wiser for it.

Children are a precious gift from God, but much anxiety comes with them. They may be a great joy or a great bitterness to their parents. They may be filled with the Spirit of God or possessed with the spirit of evil. In all cases, the Word of God gives us one prescription for the curing of all their ills. "Bring them [unto] me." ...We must never cease to pray until they cease to breathe. No case is hopeless while Jesus lives. The Lord sometimes allows his people to be driven into a corner so that they may know how necessary He is to them. Ungodly children, when they show us our own powerlessness against the depravity of their hearts, drive us to flee the Strong One for strength, and this is a great blessing to us. ~Charles Spurgeon "Morning and Evening"

from the archives: October 2007

...thinking and writing more about Elizabeth's post this week...

Multitude Monday: 1000 gifts

2011-11-07T08:20:00.002-05:00

#154-#163

leaves still on the trees

a day of fellowship, worship, and hearing the Word with my dear sisters in Christ

Trust in the Lord with all you heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. ~Proverbs 3: 5-6

God giving me the opportunity to help a friend.

Communion 2 days in a row

Witnessing the baptism of 5 brothers and sister in Christ

crying and rejoicing with sisters in the Lord

seeing the joy on my children's faces as they witness the baptisms

feeling the spirit of the Lord in that room

Bagels. Thank you Lord for bagels.

Friday five

2011-11-04T07:45:00.006-04:00

1. What I'm never going to tell you This...Yes!!! And though this is painful to hear, it is real truth and strangely, such freedom. I definitely want to write some thoughts on this next week.

2. I can't believe it's November. Can you?

3. We have decided to drink the kool-aid and go to Disney World in January. I'm really looking forward to it.

4. My 2 year old prefaces every sentence with: "Mommy...Mommy... Mommy!!" It's alternatively cute and nerve-wracking. :)

5. Know yourself mother! Another great read.

Have a fabulous weekend.

The Very Un-hospital Birth of Zoya Praise (and other mercies of God)

2011-11-02T08:33:00.003-04:00

My good friend Rebecca is so encouraging when it comes to giving birth. I love hearing her birth stories. (I'm kind of a birth-story/adoption-story junkie) Recently, she sent this story of how her 7th child Zoya Praise came into the world on an email update. I asked her if I could share it on my blog to bless you ladies. Enjoy!

It all started the night of the Alabama vs Tennessee game, 11 days after my due date. In preparation for the game I was making game day chili and busying myself with other cooking as is my custom when I am waiting for a baby to arrive. At my Friday appointment when they were pressing me to set an induction date for the next week, I confidently predicted that I would deliver on Sunday. My only reason to base this on was the general lateness of my previous three babies. Eleven days late seemed to be my number. So while we were gearing up for the big game I decided it was time to put a plan into action.

It’s always hard for me to make the plans for the other children for when the time comes, yet, I’ve always trusted that just as God knows the moment each of us will enter the world He also has a plan for the ones that are already here. I truly believe he laid it on my heart to prepare for Sunday. I made a call to a servant woman at our church asking her to be “on call” to arrive in the morning should I find myself at the hospital. I would have all the kids clothes laid out for church. My dad would be there during the night and she would arrive to help them get ready and out the door to church and then to be sure they had a place to go afterwards. I assured her I had no strong reason to think that it would happen but I wanted to be prepared just in case.

With those plans made and chili consumed I actually followed the game while I threw football passes to my active son. We all went to bed happy that Alabama won strong. Now it’s my usual custom to have a restless sleep the night before it’s baby time. I usually wake up early in the morning knowing “today is the day” based on how my night went. I awoke around 1 am with the familiar contractions which I spent an hour feeling and wondering about. Finally at 2 am I decided to get up and shower. I was swaying through contractions while I blew dry my hair and then slipped back in bed beside my oblivious husband. I thought I would get a little more rest before I woke him up, but five minutes in bed told me that there was no time for that.

I shook Dan and told him we were going to have a baby today. He thought he could buy himself a little more sleep by sending me off to the shower but was surprised to find that I was fully ready to go. A call to my parents got them to our house at 3:30am. Dad stayed behind to be with the children and mom, Dan and myself headed to the hospital.

I was thankful to have my mom walk me down the long sidewalk to the hospital door and then up to the third floor while my husband parked the car. Clearly, it’s not often that a woman in active labor shows up. As I walked out of the elevator onto the labor and delivery floor the front desk directed me to registration. As I reached the desk I stopped to have a contraction and no joke, the woman asked me, “so why are you here?” I think I’m going to have a baby. Because I had called ahead to say that I was coming I expected the hospital to know that this was my 7th baby, all natural births, 3 home births. I know now I should have walked in saying, “number 7, number 7!”

After registering, they took me to triage. I looked at the little room and asked if I could go straight to a delivery room. Procedures are procedures and no matter what, I had to go to triage. When I realized procedure meant they were going to check me I informed the nurse that if she checked me I would quickly have the baby. When she checked me I was 5 cm. I don’t think she believed me. I told her my water broke. She said she didn’t break my water. Nevertheless, it’s broken and that means baby will be here soon. She's still not believing me so much.

With triage done it’s time to go to the room. They wanted to get me a wheel chair but all I could think of was having a strong contraction while stuck in an uncomfortable position in the chair. No thanks. I’d rather walk so I can stop and rock. I might have been a little too far along for that, but I made it to the room that was much further away than I expected.

I was informed that my midwife was tied up in another, difficult birth. So in comes a doctor I’ve never met before. She was kind of pacing like she wasn’t sure what to do. Then I asked if she wanted my records. “Yes!” That is exactly what she needed. Up until that point no one had asked for them and I had been a little preoccupied and Dan and just made it upstairs with the suitcase. So finally they know that this is number seven. I mention that I feel like I’m getting ready to push. Doctor checks me again and I’m at 8 cm. I tell her it will be very soon. Still, she leaves the room to go check on other women in labor.

I must add in right here that during my appointment on Friday it suddenly became very clear to me how I wanted this birth to be. My last two births have been amazing home births, delivering into the water with a skilled and wonderful midwife from Vienna at my side. Knowing that this time I would be back in the hospital I had some apprehensions. I knew, for the most part, that they would let me do my thing and I have successfully delivered naturally in the hospital 3 previous times; however, each time there has been some needless intervention like breaking my water or something slight like that. From my last two experiences, I knew that, for me, this was unnecessary. I began to have a vision of a hospital birth that was completely untouched by intervention.

So here we are in a dimly lit room with the soothing music of Stanton Lanier playing and one nurse who doesn’t seem to be aware of what is going on. I took off the baby monitor, giving her even less to pay attention to on the computer screen. I was at the edge of the bed using the squat bar and my contractions changed to pushing contractions. As I was pushing I kept looking over my shoulder to see if anyone noticed what was happening. But still we were alone in the room and the nurse didn’t seem to realize the difference. I’m pretty sure I said I was pushing, but it wasn’t until Dan said “she’s crowning” that the nurse ran to the hall and called for a cart “right away!”. The doctor came quickly but by the time she entered the room, the baby’s shoulders were out, Dan had checked for the cord and then the rest of her followed. The doctor at first didn’t know if she should rush forward or put on gloves. Instead, she folded her arms and watched my husband expertly deliver his 7th child.

God gave us everything we wanted from this birth experience. Not only did we get a non-intervention hospital birth as I had envisioned, He gave us an unassisted birth in a quiet, dim lit room! He gave us a healthy, beautiful baby. And He showed how much he cared for us by preparing us in advance to have everything lined up for the other children. And one other neat detail was the nurse he gave me in the recovery room. She is probably the only nurse who has ever had a home birth. She was so excited to talk to me and we had fun talking through out the day.

I love having the honor of participating with God in the creation process of his beautiful children. The birth experience is a powerful thing and it is this experience that grows me as a mother and a child of God. We are so thankful for our 7th blessing from God: Miss Zoya Praise! Her name, Zoya, means “life”. We pray that she will grow to praise Him with her life! We praise Him for her life!

Multitude Monday: 1000 gifts

2011-10-30T20:36:00.003-04:00

#126-153

practicing hard eucharisteo

a birthday party had early before the storm

a warm house, fireplace, warm drinks

practicing hard eucharisteo

Fernando Ortega station on Pandora

"It is well" playing to remind me of what is most important

husband readying our house for possible power outage

thankful for his hard work to keep us warm and not in the dark

church cancelled because of an October Nor'easter

being able to really rest on the Sabbath

spending time together in one room all day

finding creative ways to cook meals

thankful for the gas stove

thankful for running, clean water

fire going all day

the comforts of home

conversations with my children

being able to sit and just "be"

but also clean out some cabinets (a chore that was irritating me)

local pizza place open

Legos from 6-year-old's BD party to keep the children busy all day

2 year old in footy jammies all day

sun shining bright

knowing this snow will melt

practicing hard eucharisteo

6 year old Halloween baby

sweet words from a friend: "bless your little southern heart."

practicing hard eucharisteo

Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae: New Book!

2011-10-27T08:28:00.001-04:00

I cannot wait for this book to come out. Sally Clarkson has such a heart for moms and I love what she is doing to minister to moms. Check out this video and look for the book!

This and that--Five Things.

2011-10-25T20:53:00.005-04:00

1. I did a Mud Run. I ran a 5K through the Bronx (Orchard Beach to be precise), through obstacles and through mud. I did it with 4 of my girlfriends. It was one of the most fun things I have ever done. I'm definitely doing it next year. That was 3 1/2 weeks ago. I haven't run at all since then. I hurt my knee and the pain spread to other areas of my body. So I'm hoping it will heal up soon so I can start running again...

2. The Great Closet Clean Out of 2011.

I've been obsessed with editing my wardrobe lately. It started with me cleaning out my closet on Labor Day. I watched Napoleon Dynamite on my laptop while I took everything (everything!) out of my closet and did not bring anything else into my closet unless I could actually fit into it or loved it or had worn it recently. I gave away so many things! It was hard to let go of some stuff, but now I don't even remember what half the stuff was so it doesn't matter. My goal is to have a closet where I can shop in. Items that I love and that say--"me".

Pinterest is helping me actually consider what I would wear and what is my "style". (that sounds so cheesy.) But it is a good exercise in really only having items that you will wear for a lifetime.

3. We've been studying John in a Tuesday morning Bible study I go to. I love how I'm learning that Jesus moves towards the broken. That is His way. Just thought I'd share that.

4. At night, I'm on Facebook or Pinterest, or reading through Ann Voskamp's

1000 gifts book again. I used to blog at night. Not so much anymore.
5. I'm on a salad kick. My favorite is making a salad with all different kinds of raw vegetables and slicing a hard boiled egg on top with some shredded cheese. It's my favorite lunch.
Got any "this and that's" you want to share?

2011-10-17T07:35:00.002-04:00

Hi friends...

Every once in awhile I will turn off my comments on a post. Sometimes it's because I just want the post to "be" there and I don't think there is a need for comments, and other times it's because I need to remind myself that I choose to be an Upside Down Blogger.

The truth is, I love your comments. Namely because I love the connections, and also because if you read, then I like to know you are reading.

All this to say, if there is a post where I have taken the comments down, then please email me. You'll find my email address at the top of my blog if you click on "contact". I really would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading, everyone. :)

Looking for Him

2011-10-15T14:01:00.004-04:00

Re-reading, Re-loving, Re-learning...

The hard eucharisteos...

119. 6 am. is better than 4:30 am.

120. Preschool shows on TV at 6 am.

121. Hot coffee to wake me up.

122. 2 year old stubborness.

123. 2 year old adorableness.

124. The way his wispy hair sticks up.

125. Being able to have these precious moments in the early morning with "just him".

Light.

2011-10-11T11:27:00.003-04:00

"I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." ~John 8:12

On Friendship.

2011-10-10T12:42:00.002-04:00

Please take a moment and read these life-giving words on friendship. It seems so many of you were so touched by my last post of "Loving Well." The people who I call "friend" are treasured people. They are not just a passing person in my life. I try to love them well, and I suppose that I expect them to love me well in turn. Then I know I've got something to treasure and love. Above all, let's not forget that Jesus will always be that One, True, Friend.

These simple words "It's never the wrong time to call on Toad. Early of late he's always the same fellow. Always good-tempered, always glad to see you, always sorry when you go!"~~-Kenneth Graham. I've spent some treasured and memorable time the past couple of weekends, each with a different family of very dear friends, and have spent many of the moments in-between-times pondering the idea and out-workings of friendship (that leaves you with the no-other-quite-like-it feeling of having been friended), what it is and how and why. What makes a friendship special and why it would be so.

Seems, a friend likes you just as you are, and enjoys you, because of (without a doubt who they are as well as) who you are. A friend, is sincerely glad to see you or hear you, and lights up at the sight of you or the sound of your voice making your/or it's way, his or her way. A friend knows you--beyond superficial (by degrees and ever longs to know you more), because they listen to you and hear you, and thoughtfully respond to you by turns, in return.

A friend graciously and non judgementally knows what you meant to say even though you may not have said it well, though only the best that you could. A friend, takes what you offer--the good and the not so good--and sifts it all through their greater and sensitive understanding of you overall, and their heart of love, covering you, believing in you, desiring God's very best for you and for yours in every single way. A friend, makes sacrifices of their time and giftings, as best and as often as able--who they are and what they have, and finds joy in return simply in the doing so. The tip of the iceberg of my ponderings. How very grateful I am for the love and shared lives of my friends (among whom are many of you, and for this I thank you, far more than just thank-you).
~Jewels On this day

Loving well

2011-10-05T09:13:00.003-04:00

"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."

I received the most wonderful surprise in the mail last week. My dear friend

Aimee sent me the most thoughtful gifts in the mail. It included a bird's nest necklace, a recipe for pumpkin bread, handmade leaf coasters, and a flower pin made of old t-shirt material. I couldn't believe what beautiful gifts I had gotten. And it was a total surprise. I thought of Aimee, homeschooling her five children, her sixth child due in less than a month. I couldn't believe she took the time out to make these things especially for me and to send them in the mail to me. It made me feel so loved and thought of. Aimee knows how to love well.

Loving well is something that must be practiced. Sometimes, as in Aimee's case, it comes very natural. Other times it may not be so natural. But loving well is showing others that they are special, that they are worth something, that they are thought of, amidst the busyness of our everyday lives.

Weekend reads

2011-09-29T07:03:00.003-04:00

Doing work for Jesus:

Faithful over a few things

I'm a slacker for Jesus

On friendships:
I'll be the one with the greasy hair
How to make friends

Finding "me"

2011-09-26T08:25:00.005-04:00

In the fall of the year where I experienced depression and burn out, and had my fifth child, an unexpected pregnancy, I put my three middle children in school. I had home schooled for years by that time, home schooling my oldest until 4th grade, and then on the track to home school the little ones as well. But after that, I just couldn't do it. I needed some time to heal from the darkness and confusion that I had experienced. I needed quiet in my home to think and just "be". It was a painful decision, for I love to home school and I love having my children at home with me all day. I love the lifestyle of home schooling. For so many years, that defined me. I was*that* stay at home mom who home schools and bakes bread and talks about curriculum at ladies' nights. Pretty soon I became *that* home schooling mom who never socializes and never gets out of the home. That wasn't healthy for me.
I spent a lot of those early years of my marriage and raising my little ones in a fog. I attribute that to a lot of things. Having babies every other year, continually clawing my way out of the pit (not really realizing that), spending a lot of my days just. holding. on. until *it*(whatever *it* was at that time) passes. I was desperate for time to complete a thought. I wanted time to rest but I didn't know how. I just wanted to be able to have the time to clean out my junk drawer. Looking back, I was neglecting "me."
Christians flinch at the phrase "finding myself." And I get that. I used to be one of those Christians who waved it off. But nowhere in the Bible does it say, "Mothers must sacrifice their time, health, and general well-being for the sake of their family." I mean...does it??
During that time of burn out and re evaluating my life--everything from home schooling, to how I spent my free time, to what "friends" I had (or thought I had), to what I cooked for dinner, to what shows I allowed my children to watch on television, I read Psalm 139 a lot:

You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

I found comfort in those verses. They told me that the Lord knows me intimately. He *made* me a certain way. Not like *so and so* who can home school and also find time to make fermented foods for her family, while balancing on a tight wire. He made me have the desire to have quiet time amidst the chaos of my home. I tried and tried to do it *their* way, but what I needed to do was seek the Lord to how *He* wanted me to live the abundant life and how *He* wanted *me* to raise my family and care for my children....and myself.

The summer after their first full year of school, we were visiting family in Utah, and were having dinner with some family friends. Dana is a lovely woman with a pottery studio in her backyard and a gorgeous garden. We sat on her back porch and ate corn on the cob and sandwich wraps. She asked me how it was with the kids in school. I told her how great it was and how well they (and I) were doing. "You had time to find yourself, right?" she said. In my prideful days I might have flinched at that comment. But this time I embraced it because it was truth to me. "Yes, I did," I said. "I really did."

Finding "me" doesn't always mean that I abandon a way of life for the Lord. It doesn't mean I spend my time and energy away from my family to the neglect of them. It means I live a life in devotion to Him, trusting Him and listening to Him on what is best for me and my family. This could certainly change from year to year. But I don't accept a model of a life lived just because it looks good on someone else. (I am not saying I did that, but there were certain decisions I made in which I did do that.) I will keep looking for ways to "find myself". I will get lost in the Lord and embrace His plan for me. This means there is much freedom in my decisions. This means my path might look different than others. And I'm ok with that.

"If I find in myself, desires nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was not made for here." ~C.S. Lewis

Naval-gazing.

2011-09-12T17:43:00.005-04:00

Sometimes I'll sit at the computer and ignore my blog. In fact, last week, I thought I should check it, to make sure it was there and all, and I said to myself: "my blog is annoying." But then there are other times where I go on my blog and I'm *proud* of the years of words and thoughts and pictures that are a tiny snippet of my life. Lots of naval-gazing*, too.

I began to think, like the author does in this post:

"But over the past few months I have become increasingly uncomfortable with what I'm doing here, largely because I'm repeating myself too often — and I'm repeating myself, I think, because of my felt need to post regularly. "

Because, really, I talk ad nauseam about experiencing burn-out and Fighting for Joy, that I sometimes wonder, is it worth talking about the same stuff over and over? Is it really worth it to keep saying it? I mean, it probably does me good, but are my readers...bored?

And from the same post:
"And you know, blogs have natural lifespans, or so I think; few of them can continue indefinitely without diminishment. Especially when they are issue-based blogs. Who wants to watch someone ride the same old hobby-horses year after year?"

I'm no Ann Voskamp. My blog is not going to continue indefinitely without diminshment.

But I think about this place as being mainly where my children can read my thoughts through some of the most challenging years of my life. And they can see how much I loved them, cared for them, prayed for them, worried for them. They can see snippets of home life. They can read me preaching to myself again and again.

I've met so many wonderful women on the Internet. As weird as that sounds-- I have! Women who have become real life friends who I take planes to visit and meet their families and cry with and eat with...

Who I send letters to and get their handcrafted loveliness.

Who encourage me on facebook, whose pins I repin on

Pinterest. (Email me if you want to be my friend on facebook!)

.....if you're ok with the naval gazing.

Related: Make it real

Thanks to Tonia for the two links in this post.
*Excessive introspection, self-absorption, or concentration on a single issue.

Modern luxury.

2011-08-30T09:36:00.005-04:00

Irene shook the apples off of our (one) apple tree, so I quickly salvaged what was there on the ground, leaving the rest to continue growing until ready to pick. We planted this tree 7 years ago and this is the first year we've had edible apples. I lovingly peeled and cut the worm eaten apples and am now going to freeze them until I will be able to can applesauce. Such a simple luxury. As well as electricity, which we lost for 24 hours due to Irene, but thankfully is now restored.

Luxury has changed a lot. In the past it was eating in a three-star restaurant. Now it’s eating home-grown vegetables in a garden or somewhere on a mountain, or going to a small cottage where you find handmade cheese, and just having a taste of that in open air, that’s luxury now.....
- Dries Van Noten

{this moment}

2011-08-26T07:58:00.003-04:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. from here

Canning tomatoes

2011-08-25T16:48:00.003-04:00

{beautiful tomatoes}

{my friend Laura filling the jars--with a baby on her hip of course!}

{finished result: they all sealed!!}

Soule Mama coincidentally has a recent post up on preserving with some great resources.

Have you canned anything this summer?

Berry crumble

2011-08-23T07:00:00.000-04:00

I absolutely have to share this delicious summer recipe with you all. Originally found here, I'll post the entire recipe on this post as well. Words just can't say how delicious this is...topped with a little (ok, a lot) of vanilla ice cream or whipped cream...oh my.

Berry Crumble

One cup of blueberries

One cup of raspberries
½ tsp of fresh lemon juice
1 tbsp of sugar in the raw
1 tbsp whole wheat flour
½ cup oatmeal (not quick oats)
½ cup all purpose flour
½ tsp cinnamon
½ cup brown sugar
¼ cup crushed pecans or walnuts
½ stick of butter chilled and diced into cubes
Pre-heat oven to 350.

In one bowl mix berries, lemon juice, sugar in the raw and whole wheat flour gently with a wooden spoon or spatula, evenly distribute berry mixture into 4 ramekins.

In another bowl mix together oatmeal, all-purpose flour, cinnamon, brown sugar and nuts, add in chilled butter cubes and crumble together with fingers, cover the berries in each ramekin with the crumble mixture.

Place ramekins on a cookie sheet and bake for approx 30 minutes or until bubbly, let cool and serve with vanilla ice cream or lightly sweetened, loosely whipped cream.

* I had some leftover cut up strawberries and I added those, and it was just as lovely.

Mama Monday

2011-08-22T08:51:00.003-04:00

Today's Mama Monday is a local friend of mine. Robbin (with 2 B's!) is a kind and thoughtful friend. She always says the most interesting things in the most interesting ways. I love that when I ask her a question, she will pause and actually *think* about the answer. Sometimes her words are unexpected, but it's always a good thing.

Here's the other thing I like about Robbin. She had been reading my blog (anonymously) for a while. I guess it got the best of her and she "confronted" me at church one day and "confessed" that she read my blog. hee hee. I love it when face to face friends will tell me that they are reading my blog, or comment to me on something they have read on my blog. Otherwise it's like this "secret" thing where I feel they are reading my thoughts and not telling me about it. Ha-ha. Anyway, I appreciated her telling me!

You are all in for a treat with Robbin's answers today. Read and enjoy. Ladies, I bring you

Robbin

Greatest thing about being a mom
I think for me the greatest thing about being a mom is seeing growth. Physical, Emotional, Spiritual Growth. It’s like watching a miracle as each child passes through their developmental stages. In one way they each travel the same road, yet for each of them the road is unique. They do it their way, in their style, in a way that’s just right for their personality; and somehow each one passes along their personal road in such a way that it affects me as a person, in a new way, at the right time. God completely uses their journey not only to grow them, but to grow me too.

Hardest thing about being a mom—
Growth! Growing is hard work. It stretches us, challenges us, breaks us at times. When I see a less than stellar behavior in one of my children, and I realize it’s a reflection of what I have modeled..ahh…my heart breaks. My emotions flair. I know I need to change in order to better present God’s love and His plan for life to the little ones he has entrusted to me. Hard Work!
When I see that one of my babies is struggling, unsure, uneasy, I am challenged to walk the line of helping them yet letting them learn and make their own way. I can’t always rescue them. Admittedly, there are times I don’t even know how to rescue. That is when I need to turn them over to God and trust that He knows.

Favorite blogs/websites—
I know most Mama Monday Mamas tend to reference wonderfully inspirational blogs that invoke us each to grow spiritually and glean knowledge to become more godly women, and I do LOVE those blogs, but chances are you already know where to find those, so here are a few of my other kinds of favorites:
A long time friend of mine blogs here about her rummage sale and thrift shop adventures. Her collections make mine look like a half-hearted beginning hobby. Svelte Stuff

Currently our family of 5 people and three small pets live in a 1070 square foot house, but this is by far the largest place we have called home. This blog gives great ideas for decorating in small places with small budgets. Loving Living Small I just love her color inspirations.

As a homeschooling mama, I look to these websites each time I consider making alterations to our curriculum. We are slowly working our way into becoming a Charlotte Mason inspired homeschool family, but with deep roots in my curriculum junky mindset.

Cathy Duffy Reviews

Ambleside Online

When I am looking to read a wise or sarcastic little snippet that has nothing to do with anything in my everyday life I go here: DDHR . It’s where another friend from long ago writes what he calls “unfounded opinions on trivial matters”. There is no color here. Nothing fancy. No eye-candy. Pure simple words on a white page.

We don’t have cable TV, my children have never been to a movie, but on occasion, when the mood strikes & it becomes movie time at our house, I like to visit this site to read a review before deciding if a movie is an appropriate choice for my children to watch at their ages and based on our family’s beliefs and standards: Plugged In

How do you find balance in your life—
Honestly, I do not have balance. I am a person of extremes. I focus well on one thing at a time, while often times completely losing sight of everything else. If one thing is checked off the to-do-list then I am almost guaranteed to also have things on the list that I have overlooked or just plain neglected. My family keeps me in check a bit. They remind me when I have worked on a project too long, to the point of forgetting to plan/make/serve a meal. They remind me when I have spent far too long researching something online and have failed to notice that a need is not being met. I should not need these reminders, but too often I do need them. The Lord also sends me little reminders when I have allowed busy things in this life to take away from the time I should be spending with Him. These reminders come in the form of an urgent prayer request from a friend and I realize I must reach out to God in that moment. These reminders come in the form of an unexplained awakening in the night paired with a nagging feeling that I need to come to the throne. They come in the form of a verse popping up again and again during the course of a day or a week like little personal notes from my Father. Perhaps a day will come when I find balance. In the meantime, I both appreciate and am humbled by the little reminders.

One word that describes you
Well-intentioned. “Having good intentions, even if producing unfortunate results.”
I want to do the right thing…think about doing the right thing…plan to do the right thing…try to do the right thing. But, boy of boy, does it turn our wrong more often than I would like. I forget to send the note. Put off making the call for fear of saying the wrong thing. Wait too long and miss the opportunity. I share my thoughts at the wrong time, to the wrong person, in the wrong tone of voice or with the wrong word choice. Relationships suffer. I become more hesitant the next time. And yes, I know Andrea spoke wonderfully about this issue in a fairly recent post, but it is still a major area for improvement in my life.

I am reminded of a time long ago when I tried to donate blood at a blood center. A friend needed help and I wanted to help. When I sat down to begin, by blood pressure dropped to the point that I was unable to donate. The staff gave me a sticker to wear that read “Be Nice to Me. I Tried”. Sometimes I wish I could wear that sticker every day! {I absolutely love that. I need a sticker like that too! I think all moms do..}

Favorite color—
For me it’s not about a favorite color, it’s about an abundance of color. In theory, I love the look of someone’s home or a magazine layout with tone on tone, white on white, crisp clean environments. For me, strolling through the Getty Center, designed by my favorite architect Richard Meier, is an enthralling experience. In practice, I live with color. Every room in our house is painted with a different color. Patterns and textures abound. You would be hard pressed find a quiet place to rest your eye in my world.

There is a color that I find most versatile, usable in all varying forms. That would be green. In its deepest forms of rich evergreen it can be soothing, comforting, grounding. In its brightest seagreen tones it can be invigorating and lively. If you look around in nature, you can see God’s amazing use of greens all around you, and if you allow it, you can experience a full range of thoughts and emotions evoked from the greens around you. God uses this green as a backdrop for his other colors. I use it often in my decorating. I guess for me: Green is the new white.

Hobbies/interests---
I love to create things. I have been known to sew a little, scrapbook a little, bake a little and cover everything I can find with paint. My paintbrush is my favorite tool. I have used the same 2” Purdy brush since I bought if over 8 years ago. It has painted the walls of three places I have lived, re-painted the table top of the first piece of furniture my husband and I bought together. When I am stressed, bored, feeling energized: I paint! {wanna come over? ~Andrea}

I also collect things:

Buttons: Mostly old buttons. I love the colors, the shapes, the age and patina. I string them together in matching sets and place them in glass jars with like colors. I think about using them for craft projects. Occasionally that happens, but mostly I just enjoy finding them and looking at them, touching them.

Rhinestone pins: for mostly the same reasons and treating them in a similar fashion, only in drawers rather than jars. When I was about 7 years old, I joined a friend at her grandmother’s house. She was the type of grandmother that kept many old things on display in her home, but in her basement she tucked away her old jewelry. My friend and I spent what felt like hours trying on each piece and imagining life in fancy clothes at fancy parties. At the end of the day that grandmother allowed me to select one piece of her collection to keep as my own. That was my first piece of rhinestone jewelry. I still have it, but it is no longer alone in the drawer.

I couldn't live without—
Of course we all think there are things we can’t live without, a good cup of coffee or our iPhone, both of which, along with my Birkenstock sandals, I would only give up while kicking and screaming. I could also mention the often cliché answer of my bible which I don’t want to belittle, but on a day-in-day-out practical level, having my husband call home sometime during his work day is what truly makes my day. Hearing his voice, his concern, his interest of plugging back in to the family even though he must spend hours away, that is what makes my heart sing most days. It’s not a perfect world and we don’t have a perfect marriage, but more often than not, I am in a better place after he has checked in.

What helps me through tough days---
Kind words. I crave a kind word. Something encouraging, something lovely. From friends. From Family. From God. Often times that is all it takes to stop a downward spiral and turn my world upside right again. Ironic since I struggle to find the right words to share, yet yearn for one to come my way. I do purpose to seek the words from God first. I have had a bad habit of seeking everywhere else first and coming to His words last. Thankfully He is always there with something to say! {me too! ~Andrea}

What the Lord has been speaking to you about lately—
Contentment and Patience. For me, these go hand in hand. There have been a series of events in my life over the last few years that were not my plan. Not my intention. Not my idea. I wanted other things on a different time table. God has showed me that His plan is better. He wants to bless me, if I would only be content with where he has placed me for this time in my life. While I learn this lesson, I truly find it makes me a more patient parent. I realize that things outside of my control (which is much of the parenting experience for me) are really just opportunities for something good to come along unplanned. Even in moments of disobedience or disrespect from a child, (if handled properly) that moment can become a teachable moment and a chance to grow a stronger bond with my child.

What do you like best about yourself—
I do like my eyes. For color reasons. No surprise there. They are hazel. When I was little, they were more brown. The older I get, the more green they become. They do appear a little different depending on what I wear. I think my mother’s eyes are the same way. I think my oldest daughter’s eyes may follow the same pattern. It makes me feel connected. It makes me smile when I look in the mirror and see something different than what appeared the day before.

If I could encourage a young mother, I would say—
Don’t ever give up. Don’t stop trying. Don’t wish away the early years of a child’s life. If we allow God to grow us, we can more fully enjoy the process of joining our children in their growth. Accept that it will be hard work, but with the hard work comes blessings.

One book you would recommend to read--(besides the Bible)
If you can separate out the author’s apparent unwillingness to accept God’s truth as the only truth, and if you are already grounded in confidently knowing what Spirit means to you, and you are fully aware that power does not come from within yourself but from God, I highly recommend Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It is written out like a daily journal, with a reading for each day of the year. As you read through the book from beginning to end, from beginning of the year to the end of the year, I think you will find that you are more the person you want to be at year’s end.

Thank you Robbin!!

8 things.

2011-08-20T07:12:00.002-04:00

1. First of all, to my lovely C.L.A.S. friends, I want to profusely apologize. I am a slacker. With a capital "S". To all of you who have written me lovely, lovely, letters, I still have yet to sit down and respond. So I thank you in advance for your patience. And I will get to it soon! I hope!

2. I love farmer's market fruits and vegetables. Imperfect and fresh. I have a canning tomatoes date with a friend next week. I've never canned before! So I am really looking forward to that.

3. We had VBS this week. The nursery worker told me about my youngest: "He needs to learn the word F-E-A-R." I just laughed. That's my boy.

4. This is a beautiful "prayer wall" at VBS. It was so touching to see all the prayers and notes to Jesus on the wall, as well as the little drawings the children did on it everyday.

5. We went camping for the first time as a family of 7 this summer. I will say it was a success! You should have seen our car, it was packed to the gills. I was worried that we had over packed, but in reality, it was just enough stuff. I guess I need to embrace the fact that with 5 children we will have a lot of "stuff".

6.In addition to canning, I am doing 2 new things this summer. Learning to sew, from my friend Vanessa and my friend Eve, who is a fabulous teacher and seamstress. I am also doing the Couch to 5K running program to "train" for a Mud Run in October. It's fun doing new things.

7. I've really soaked in Summer this year. Trying to be thankful for the sun and the warmth and trying to get outside and enjoy it as much as I can. Almost like saving up the sun and warmth for when winter comes. I'm more aware of the need for that, and the need to live by the seasons.

8. Speaking of living by the seasons, have you purchased

Amanda Soule's new book The Rhythm of Family? It is once again, a book to treasure, as all her other books. An inspiring read.

I < 3 texting

2011-08-02T07:58:00.002-04:00

Remember my post a couple of years ago about my ipod? How I "hated" it and wouldn't have anything to do with it, and then I fell in love with it?

Well, Apple has got me again. This time with my iphone.

I'm no stranger to the iphone. My husband got me one for my birthday a couple of years ago, right before I had my fifth baby.
So then I was able to update my facebook status immediately after delivery. (joke.) Although I did check my blog while in labor.

What can I say? I used to be one of those people with the flip cell phone--you know the one that your husband bought for you for "emergencies". And it was never charged, and I always left it at home. Not much good in emergencies.

When my teenage daughter was finally able to text on her phone, we set up a contract and all, had her sign the "guidelines"...I know, terrible parents that we are. Mainly, we wanted to get across to her that face to face conversation is the best in all situations. Texting is not chat, etc, etc. I hated the privacy of texting with my teen. It was one of those things I had to let go and trust her. I can't know everything, nor should I.

So, just like I used to be anti-ipod, I used to be anti-texting.

"Hello, my name is Andrea, and I am a recovering hater-texter."

I < 3 texting. I do. And here is why. Those friends of mine who text, it is a wonderful way to stay connected during the day. It is not a substitute for our relationships, but it enhances it. In fact, I just got through texting a friend "Happy Birthday". If I didn't text, would I have contacted her? I don't know. And without facebook I might not have known her birthday. And so on. A-hem. All this rambling to say, texting has changed my life. (cringe, I can't believe I just wrote that.) It has allowed me to be connected to friends and family in a way that is easy and accessible. Do I use it to replace face to face interaction? No. I am very careful about that. And I will not have a serious discussion on text. Texting was also helpful in having an accountability partner as I read the Bible in 90 days.
So, all that to say, if you see a woman with an iphone with a black and white polka dot case, punching the keys and laughing...that's me. LOL. And all that.

Mama Monday

2011-08-01T07:42:00.006-04:00

Today's Mama Monday is Alicia Bruxvoort with the beautiful smile and encouraging spirit from the blog The Overflow: Where Souls are Filled and Faith is Spilled. Alicia writes:

"I am a lover of Jesus Christ, a seeker of abundant life, and a freelance writer and speaker. I’ve got a handful of children, a home full of laughter and a life full of noise. I’m the frequent hostess of kitchen-floor dance contests, meal time talk-a-thons and dirty diaper campaigns."

Like what you've read so far? Don't forget to say "hello" to Alicia in the comments and/or pop over to her blog.

Ladies I bring you Alicia:

Greatest thing about being a mom--Viewing the world through the eyes of my children and watching Jesus woo their hearts to His.

Hardest thing about being a mom— Dying to self (over and over and over and over...)

Favorite blogs/websites—The Flourishing Mother, A Holy Experience, Families are Fun, Heavenly Glimpses

How do you find balance in your life— I try to begin my day with my Bible and a hot cup of coffee before my first child wakes, and I'm learning the revitalizing power of embracing Sabbath rest.

One word that describes you— Hopeful

Favorite color--Sky blue

Hobbies/interests--- Freelance writing and speaking, blogging (visit me at The Overflow! @ aliciabruxvoort.net), reading, creating fun ways for families to bring God's Word to life, studying the Bible, and recreating with my family

I couldn't live without—Jesus

What helps me through tough days-- Focusing on God's provision one moment at a time. Trying to be fully present in the present- "Wherever you are, be fully there!" (A marvelous quote from Ann Voskamp's book, 1000 gifts)

What the Lord has been speaking to you about lately—Learning to be attentive to Him in the little things

What do you like best about yourself—That I never stay the same.. I'm a work in progress :) Right now, I'm grateful for the creative spirit He's grown in me.

If I could encourage a young mother, I would say--Seek Jesus FIRST and He'll take care of ALL the things that concern you and your children.

One book you would recommend to read--(besides the Bible) Nudge by Leonard Sweet

Thank you Alicia!!!!

In our own backyard. Part 2

2011-07-31T21:32:00.003-04:00

(part one here)

In part one of "In our own backyard", we talked about recognizing who the Lord has put in your life, and how you can minister to them. In the inner circle, we found that our husband and children "reside" in our inner circles. Moving beyond the inner circle, it can become more complicated. First of all, if you have family in the area, then they are most likely in that 2nd outside circle. Next, go through your week. Write down every day of the week and list people you see every day. Are there days where you see people more than one day? Is there a connecting relationship such as someone who lives near you and goes to your church? Is there someone whose children go to your school and you see them out and about at other places? Is there a mom you see at bible study one day and church the other? These are people that are in your life on a regular basis. You also might have people that you may not see during the week a lot but after prayer, come to your mind as someone you need to minister to and love.

loving one another~

that's where evangelism begins,

how

can we change our world,

if we cannot even care about each other in our

own circle?

pick a growing church in the New

Testament.

how about thessalonica? everyone poured in,

not because the sunday school teacher was

so fantastic,

or the curricula...or even the program.

they didn't even bring in a special musical

group.

but...wow, how they loved one another!

~i love the word impossible by ann kiemel

questions? comments? suggestions? would love to hear. I'm trying to figure it all out myself.

What the locusts have eaten

2011-07-25T13:37:00.008-04:00

Two years ago, I was nearing the end of my pregnancy. I was so tired and worn out, never really recovering from the severe hypermesis that I experienced the first three months of the pregnancy. I would fix breakfast for the children, and then have to lie down to rest. Walking around for a little while around the house exhausted me. I felt quite helpless that summer, really wanting some energy to engage my children with some fun activities, and also feeling guilty for being in the bed most of the time.

I really wondered if I would ever feel better. It seemed like I "wasted" many months in the bed, sick and tired. I felt stuck. Add to that some deep issues I was wrestling with on those long, dark days of morning sickness.

I received the most amazing words of encouragement from Jewels that I will never forget to this day. How or why she knew to contact me is something I just believe is a God-thing.

Here is a part of it:
Dearest ((Andrea)), I wanted to send off a quick note, to give you a big gentle hug, and let you know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you.....God is holding you especially close (and really dubbing on you :o)....especially so, in the discombobulation, sorrows and confusions, of the hard times....

Jesus loves me, this I know.
And,
Jesus knows me, this I love.

I sobbed and sobbed after that email. For a long time.

And because of Jewel's encouraging words, and her obedience to minister to me, I held on to that tiny hope that this situation I was in was not going to last forever.

That my body would get stronger.

That I would have more strength to take care of my family.

That we would one day have a fun summer.

That God was in control of it all and I must trust Him.

On Saturday we found out that our girls' bus that takes them to sleep away camp for a week every summer would not be running on that day. I have no idea how or why I missed that little bit of information, but it was looking like we were going to have to drive them four hours to camp the next day.

We decided to make the best of it and make it an adventurous road trip.

My husband made phone calls to see about taking Monday off.

We looked into places to stay Sunday night so we wouldn't have to drive 8 hours in one day.

Maybe in the past I would have been stressed to plan this impromptu trip, but I remembered that summer of me lying in the bed and I remembered this is what I want to do.

Friends, I don't know what situation you are in. I don't know if you are asking God every day if it will ever end. You may be confused, you may be sick, you may be hurting, you may just be struggling with LIFE.

The phrase: "restore what the locusts have eaten" is something that keeps ringing in my head.

You do know your situation or whatever it is you are struggling with will change. God is in the business of changing and growing and giving and loving.

And sometimes that is so very painful, but you do know He will restore.

Because He does that, too.

The threshing floors shall be full of grain;
the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.
I will restore to you the years
that the swarming locust has eaten,
the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter,
my great army, which I sent among you.
You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
and praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has dealt wondrously with you. ~Joel 2:24-25

What's going on

2011-07-22T07:29:00.003-04:00

As you can see, we are really enjoying summer around here.

We've been keeping busy with pool trips and visiting friends.

I don't mind the heat, remember: I grew up in the hot and humid South. Thankfully in the Northeast, we have "heat waves". They don't last all summer, just for a few days, and then it goes back down to the comfortable 80s. I just can't get enough of summer. I try to stay active and enjoy the outdoors as much as I can, knowing that winter is right around the corner, and I must endure it.

Found this teak table and chairs on Craigs List for a steal. We had been looking at purchasing one of these for years because of it's durability. (no more cheapo outdoor furniture for us.) However, the price was ridiculous for a new one, so we could never justify it. I was so happy to find this set, and it's already weathered, just as I like it.

The kids stay so active in the day, and stay up later at night, that they sleep longer in the mornings. Hurray! I've been enjoying my coffee, silence, and the morning light. It starts my day off exactly how I like it.

Sorry no deep thoughts for now. Just living life and enjoying it. Hope you are having a wonderful summer!

{this moment}

2011-07-15T07:34:00.001-04:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

linking up with Soule Mama

Why I love the South.

2011-07-12T07:22:00.006-04:00

1. The people. People in the south are so friendly. Strangers ask about your day, start conversations, share their lives with you in the checkout lane. It's just a way of life. I love the middle aged country man who says, "Yes ma'am" to me multiple times in a conversation. People are naturally courteous and seem to care about your well-being. Friendliness can be found in NY. But I find you must look for it and make it happen yourself. It's not so readily "available." People seem more trusting in the south, more ready to share themselves.

2. Family. There is something to be said for being in a place where your ancestors lived. For walking down small town streets where your grandmother once walked as a child. To know that the homestead where your great-great-great grandparents raised their family is a drive away. It draws you to a place like no other.

3. Food. I can drive down a stretch of highway in the south and see countless local food stands. People sell their veggies in front of their driveway. It makes me happy to see people sharing their abundance and growing their own food. I can find that in NY, but I have to drive north a bit. Plus I love seeing homemade BBQ smoking out in front of small cafe's. That's a given.

4. The landscape. The South, where I'm from, boasts tall pines, red dirt, and kudzu. These things remind me where I am, where I came from. They comfort me.

Weekend reads

2011-07-09T07:28:00.003-04:00

Just popping in to share some links I've enjoyed lately....

Biblical Womanhood: Questions to ask yourself in your home
On being thoughtful Aimee shares how just little things can show the love of Christ to someone.
Don't be a lone ranger Christian We were not meant to live without the help of Christian community. What are ways to seek out others to help you on your journey?

Multitude Monday

2011-06-20T15:08:00.005-04:00

#112: an unexpected, precious letter and gift from a sweet sister in the Lord telling me she is thinking and praying for me. Love in action.

#113: A small booklet in said letter that I can't wait to read: From Brokenness to Community by Jean Vanier

on the back:

"The text in this book originated as two lectures given by Jean Vanier at Harvard University in 1988. He speaks eloquently of the lessons he has learned from the disabled adults he serves at his community in France and at other houses. He speaks of his own healing and his own need for people. He speaks of the power of belonging and how it satisfies the deepest needs in people. Vanier does not romanticize community. For him, community is a place of struggle and sometimes of conflict. Community is a place where ego dies, a place of surrender. However, it is also a place of celebration, joy and ultimately of human fulfillment."

#114: sweet bare legged babies. A-hem, toddlers.

#115 Three birds' nests in a row under our deck!! Brave birdies!

#116: a relaxing Father's Day amidst a busy work schedule.

#117: flourishing Lavender

#118: my hydrangeas I planted last year!!!

::right now::

2011-06-13T17:23:00.005-04:00

Right now, I am::

::waiting for my children's school year to be over. (One more week!)

::planning a trip to the Japanese bookstore in NYC sometime in the next couple of weeks...

::thinking about what to put on our Summer List

::praying about some hard words that need to be spoken...

::learning a little every day how to Trust Him more and more.

::revisiting this post by Jewels for such Godly comfort. And this one.

::looking at my letters that need to be responded to.

::dreaming of my two weeks down at the lake in the South that will be coming up soon.

::feeling discombulated and needing some time to organize thoughts.

...I'll be taking a short hiatus from this place for a little bit. Not sure how long, but for now, I need to rest with my thoughts for awhile. God is doing some deep probing of my life, and I need to sit with Him and figure it all out. Prayers appreciated. I hope to come back to this place very soon refreshed and re-energized.

God in the Yard: Hospitality

2011-06-10T07:49:00.005-04:00

I thought it was interesting that while L.L. spent time in her yard every day for a year, that a lesson she learned was hospitality. God is the originator of hospitality. He freely gave His creation for us to enjoy, learn from, relax in, and live in. Isn't that wonderful? As L.L. says about her experience in her yard: "I'd come to think of this place as God's home."

Many Christians forget that hospitality is a command. We are to love Jesus with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, but we are also supposed to:

"... Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms." ~I Peter 4: 9-10

Hospitality is a means in which to strengthen relationships within the church, and to evangelize our neighbors and friends. Again, in God's economy, He knows what works. If we are neglecting to obey the command of hospitality, then we as a body are not working to full potential. I have felt the neglect of others not obeying this command. I often feel that because we have a large family, then people are hesitant to invite us over. That is very hurtful. I also wonder if people think because there are so many in our family they might think we don't need the ministering to in that way. I will tell you that we do!! We may not be orphans or widows, but we have needs of hospitality. So ask the Lord who to be hospitable to. It may not be the obvious people in your church who live by themselves or the single mother. (Though they most definitely have that need.) It might be the family with many children who doesn't have family nearby to spend holidays or weekends with. Like us!! Am I alone in this?!!

L.L.'s chapter really got me thinking about what hospitality really means. It made me go deeper into just the tried and true method of inviting people over. The first person I thought about was a dear man at our church named Papa John. He was a greeter in our church. We could always count on seeing Papa John at the door welcoming us every Sunday. He always gave you a hug and sometimes a kiss on the cheek. He would bend down to your children and make them feel like they were the most special children on earth. He welcomed you into church and he welcomed you into his heart. He definitely had a gift. Sadly, he passed away last year. I just kept thinking about the impact he had on so many people by just being interested in us and in our lives for those few minutes every Sunday morning. He had so much love for all the people in our church. I miss his presence there even today.

All this made me think: "How can I show hospitality in other creative ways?"

At the end of L.L's time in the yard, her prayer was: "Let my home be as Yours."

An excellent prayer. How can my home, my resources, show someone Jesus? How can I invite someone into my home to serve them, refresh them, encourage them? As Jesus does.

I think women get so hung up on their houses. It's too small, it's too messy, I don't cook well. If you are not using your resources to bless, then others are suffering and you are too.

Jesus' hospitality is not about your house, your food, etc, etc, ad nauseum. It is about serving. As Sandy Coughlin says on her blog The Reluctant Entertainer :"It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful."

Where does hospitality start? The verse right before the command of hospitality in I Peter 4, it says in I Peter 4:8: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." What do we do first with our fellow brother/sister in Christ? Love them. With that neighbor? Love them. Then we are hospitable to them.

"Hospitality is a state of mind, not a prescriptive agenda." ~Duchess

Again, hospitality may be a command, but the first rule is love.

Not a set of rules or schedules, but love.

It starts at the heart:

"The idea that God is life, the Life of the life of all living things, is a key to the practice of hospitality..." ~Nanette Sawyer

How can this thought radically change your view on hospitality? Making it more about loving others because He loves us, and less about your home or the food?

A posture of welcome:

Hospitality can very well happen outside of the home. I think about Papa John. Says Sawyer,

"In a state of reverence, we stand in the full presence of another, while being fully present ourselves. There is deep acceptance and love in this state, as we encounter the image of God in each other."

Generosity:

"Generosity is a posture of nurture," says Sawyer.

"Nurture comes in so many forms. It can be the process of planting a seed (literally or figuratively), giving physical or emotional sustenance, picking up the pieces when something has broken (a life, the loss of life). True nurture flows from receptivity and reverence. There's a fine line between this and duty." ~L.L. Barkat

What are some other creative ways to show hospitality?

~initiating a potluck with another family at the park?

~initiating pizza in the backyard?

~bringing a meal to a home and sharing it with another family?

~letting go of our expectations for how hospitality "should" be?

Weekend wrap up

2011-06-06T08:02:00.006-04:00

1. I got to go on a date with my hubby for his birthday on Friday night. Got to put makeup on and fix my hair. I love that.

2. Feeling sore today. But a good sore. I am doing Couch to 5K with a friend of mine. We are training to run this in October with 3 other ladies. Can't wait!

3. My husband had to work this weekend. But I made it through! Did you know

this post is my most googled post on my blog?

4. We also had strep throat in our house this week. Ugh. Thankfully we have an new urgent care that opened up near us so I was able to get antibiotics on a weekend.

5. I finally planted my vegetable garden on Saturday. It's looking pretty pitiful. But on another note, the hydrangeas I planted last year look great! I'd say my thumb is light green.

6. Finally, Spring has really hit the Northeast. I love June in New York. It's my reward for enduring winter here.

In all circumstances

2011-06-02T20:46:00.002-04:00

"Mom, what are we having for dinner?"

My back's turned to her as I stir the sauce. Mentally, I cringe, and I slowly close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Pasta." I say, not giving anymore information.

I wait, my eyes still closed.

"But we had pasta this week!" she protests.

And I go through the spill, again, "well that was pasta with asparagus and lemon butter sauce and salmon, and tonight it's tomato sauce..."I falter off, not wanting to indulge her in this conversation.

It's the daily dinner question: "What's for dinner?"

Some nights I'm good at handling it, some nights it's exactly what they want to eat and they don't protest it, and some nights, like tonight, I just feel sorry for myself.

Child, don't you know how stressful the past two hours have been? Wrangling baby from the cabinets, steering him from the snack cabinet, pausing to talk with teen about a school project that I have no brain cells to even think about, helping 10 year old with her emotions from a bad day, taking care of a sick little one with strep throat and whines from the five year old because I turned off his favorite show...and dinner's not done and I have to go get husband from the train, because we only have one car this week, and...and.....don't you realize I do my best around here?

And why can't you just be thankful for my effort--for this home made meal made for you...don't you realize the time and effort I put into feeding this family and how hard it is to make dinner for 7 people every night?

And I catch myself, and stop my pity party because He reminds me:

Child, how many times have you complained to me because of what I've done?

How many times have you been ungrateful for My effort?

And my "best" is really "Best"!

And yet you are still ungrateful.

And I say, "Lord, Lord, you are right. I need to trust You more. You're in all this. You do all things well. I will rejoice and be glad in You."

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~I. Thessalonians 5:18

#107 Flowers from a dear friend's garden.

#108 A mentoring relationship.

#109 Being able to cook dinner for my family every night. It blesses me so much.

#110 Food that nourishes and strengthens little bodies, even if they don't realize the blessings of that just yet..

#111 Your Word, your Word. Your precious Word.

Slow writing

2011-06-01T08:34:00.005-04:00

{from My Dearest Friend: Letters of Abigail and John Adams}

“I am sometimes quite discouraged from writing. So many vessels are taken, that there is Little chance of a Letters reaching your Hands. That I meet with so few returns is a circumstance that lies heavy at my Heart.”~Abigail Adams

Much has changed today. Information gets to us quickly, we can text or email a quick message to someone, even phone calls get information quickly to our loved ones. I suppose that's why I have been so anxious and felt so guilty for not being prompt in returning letters to my C.L.A.S. friends. When I receive an email or a text, I like to respond quickly, or the message gets lost in the recesses of my inbox or phone. Deal with it now, don't wait, or it will never be dealt with. Such is the time we live in.

I've felt that way with my letters, and I realized the other day that I shouldn't apply that same type of "quick response thinking" to my letter writing.

In the past, especially in John and Abigail Adams' time, letters took months to reach each other. You did not expect a quick response. John Adams work in the War of Independence took him away from home frequently. There were some 1, 160 letters between them that survived.

So, with this information in mind, I am cherishing the lost art of letter writing. Slow, deliberate writing that can be started and stopped without having to click "Save". It makes for more enjoyable correspondence than an email or text hastily written out. Letters cherish the English language: there is no "lol" or "brb". (God forbid I ever write that in a letter.) We are patient in writing, and patient in receiving a letter in answer.

Weekend reads

2011-05-28T16:26:00.004-04:00

For the courage impaired....@Amy's Humble Musings p.s. The comments in this post are worth reading as well.
Too special@Hope With Feathers
How green and simple living becomes generous living@Simple Organic
Moms need to constantly pray @Justin Taylor

In our own backyard. Part I

2011-05-25T07:55:00.002-04:00

Sometimes, in the chaos of everyday living, we lose our perspective. We forget what our purpose is, we forget what the Lord has us here for, and our priorities are not in the right place. It is good to every now and then assess our priorities and perspective.

One of the most important (if not *the* most important) "thing" that I need to keep in perspective is the people that the Lord has placed in my life. It is so easy to find myself focusing on other things besides relationships and putting those priorities above people, as well as putting (how can I say this?) "wrong" people before the "right" people the Lord has put in your life. Figuring all this out takes careful prayer and much thought.

Who is in my "backyard"?

We often miss very clearly the people the Lord has asked us to minister to. They are most often the people we see on a regular basis, yet if we do not take time to think about these things, we could miss the very people the Lord has asked us to serve.

If we are walking in the spirit, we will begin to see how the Lord uses everyone for His glory. We begin to see how I might be the finger for someone else's hand. We were not created to live life alone. We were not created to go on without the support of family and community.

Each Christian is a dispenser. God has supplied each one with gifts He has selected (He does not offer an array of options), with the good of all in mind. When we imagine that these gifts are for our own mere satisfaction, we are forgetting they are intended for service. All that I have is meant to contribute to the needs of others, and what I need will be supplied through God's dispensers. Thus He unifies and harmonizes the whole church, which is his body, making each dispenser indispensable, for each dispenses a grace which is peculiarly his. ~Elisabeth Elliot

Where do I start?
"We'll start at the top: the first thing we need to do is ask ourselves whether we are being obedient to the call of God in our lives. Are we faithfully working at what He has assigned us to do? The reason we want to ask ourselves this is because we are going to do a little spiritual de-cluttering. I'm just going to leap ahead here and state this as plainly as possible: if you are married and/or have children, your very first calling is to your spouse and those children. A spouse must be nurtured, supported, listened to, cared for, served. It is the same for children, but they must also be brought up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. If you have a special needs child or ongoing health issues or unusual circumstances in your home, this is going to take an even larger portion of your priorities. Are you obeying God?" ~ Tonia

This quote from Tonia is a good place to start. What I've started with is a group of concentric circles, quite like this. Who is in your "inner circle"? If we start with the basics, and "declutter" like Tonia suggested, we find that our husband and our children are in the innermost circle. They are the people we come into contact every day, they are the people the Lord has placed in your life on a daily basis, these are the people that you live with.

How do I minister to these people?

"Unless the Lord build the house, the work of the builders is wasted." ~Psalm 127:1

"Your strength will be spent in vain, because your soil will not yield its crops, nor will the trees of the land yield their fruit." ~Leviticus 26:20

The message is simple. If you try to figure this out on your own, your labor will be in vain. We need the Lord's help to open our eyes and hearts to understand how we are to minister and serve others in our lives. Set aside time to pray for these people in your inner circle. What are their needs? How can you best serve and minister to them? Are you doing too little? Are you doing too much? Be open to what the Lord says, not your own thoughts (Proverbs 3: 5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding.... In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.)

A special thank you to Kari Jo for the concentric circle thoughts. And a disclaimer: this is a huge work in progress for me. I do not have it all down. Just me organizing my thoughts here and preachin' to myself. Let me know if you've done anything similar to this and how it works for you.

Multitude Monday

2011-05-23T09:14:00.004-04:00

101. {a friend sitting behind us in church took this picture of my husband and I on his cell phone and sent it to us during service. It's of us praying together. So very touching and sweet of him to do that.}

102. {Laundry on Monday morning. Lots and lots of laundry means lots and lots of people to take care of. And that's a good thing.}

103. {one week til summer}

104. {a clean office}

105. {making a prayer book}

106. {a friend giving me her jogging stroller!}

Join Ann Voskamp as she counts the endless gifts of our days. All is grace!!

Weekend reads

2011-05-20T07:57:00.004-04:00

You don't have to be balanced: Hurray "When we get stuck--when we always say "yes" or always say "no" then that's when we need to be concerned. Because we're called to freedom, to flow, to embracing whatever God puts in front of us whether it's little or much."
By the grace of God
"Four children eight and under, including two nursing babies, with a traveling husband?
I am powerless. Only God."
How to follow Jesus without being Shane Claiborne YES!
Grace for moms Moms, read this. Now.
Good thoughts for busy mamas

Have a wonderful weekend. Hope the sun is shining wherever you are....

God in the Yard: Silence

2011-05-18T08:20:00.002-04:00

In L.L. Barkat's book God in the Yard she explores the spiritual practice of Silence. "Listening is the path to intimacy," says poet John Fox. Do you agree?
In our large group study of this book, we were encouraged to sit in silence for 10 minutes and write or sketch what we "heard" in the silence. It happened to be pouring rain on this morning, and I listened to the rain, watched the green leaves outside becoming wet and wrote this:

Bare empty sticks
become
lush fragrant
in due time.

Things are Always Changing.
The Way I Feel Now
Will not last forever.

God is constantly changing Nature.
But He never does.
He stays the Same.

We do not stay hidden in the tight bulb.
We are let out to bloom
To have new life
To Change
to Become
lush, fragrant
not always
Bare, Empty Sticks.

Warm with generations of human touch.

2011-05-12T09:22:00.000-04:00

My husband initially found a partial set of these vintage dishes at a thrift store about 15 years ago. We have always used them for special occasions--it is our "special" china. Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Thanksgiving... And of course any other time we would like to get them out such as Sunday dinners or birthdays. We've never had enough big plates, so we always used the bowls that went with them in addition to some of the smaller plates, so you could get more food on your plate. *smile*

Last Friday, I made a quick stop in my local Goodwill. As usual, I went to the housewares department and I saw a whole set of my vintage china on the shelf!!! I'm talking cups and saucers, gravy boats, creamer, sugar canister, big plates, little plates.....it was too good to be true. I immediately filled my cart with everything I thought we could use to add to our set. I didn't even take everything, there was so much! Hands down, my best ever Goodwill find--two boxes of china for $20!!!!

Yesterday my husband and I took at day trip to the famous Brimfield Antique Show in Brimfield, Massachusetts. Three miles of antiques. Talk about treasure trove. We found a console table and an entry table for our home. I also found a beautiful bowl that looks like McCoy, and a big Pyrex bowl.

Our console table.

Beautiful etching on an entry table we purchased.

My beloved collection of vintage seltzer bottles.

There is something to be said for buying used or antique goods. There is a quote that I came upon recently:

Fewer and fewer Americans possess objects that have a patina, old furniture, grandparents pots and pans -- the used things, warm with generations of human touch, essential to a human landscape. Instead, we have our paper phantoms, transistorized landscapes. A featherweight portable museum. ~Susan Sontag

I like antiques in my home because they are made better, last longer, and have a history. (By no means am I a purist. I love my Expedit!)

Simply, I love old things because they are "warm with generations of human touch." Beautiful.

Mail and letter writing

2011-05-09T11:43:00.003-04:00

C.L.A.S. friends, I have not forgotten you. I've been savouring your letters and waiting for the "perfect" time to sit down, uninterrupted, and write you all back on these second round of letters. Which we all know that uninterrupted time is hard to find!
It has been so satisfying to write and read these letters. I love that I can get them out and savour each word over and over, and instead of font, it's your actual handwriting. It makes it so much more personal and heartfelt than an email. I remember my grandmother always had a writing desk that she saved just for writing letters. She was good at that. Even in the assisted living home that she lived in the last years of her life, she had a spot just for writing. It was an important part of her day. It was also her way of ministering to others.
Never underestimate the power of words and the power of written words. Written words tell others that you took the time out of your day to focus on them, whether it is in an email or a handwritten letter or a text, or in person.

"The sturdy, dependable nature of a piece of mail is is really the crux of its charm. Mail has long been a way of showing that you've taken the time to consider what you want to say to someone; phone calls and even e-mails don't require the same level of reflection. It's also a way of transporting a bit of someones essence in a way that no technology since has been able to replicate. Even just a dashed-off note shows off your penmanship, your stamp choice; your return address label may belie your support of the ACLU. An envelope can even carry your scent--try doing that, Yahoo!. What's more, postcards and letters are objects that represent a specific moment and place in a way that an email time stamp can't do. You might never make it outside of your hometown, but you can touch something that has traveled halfway around the world or that was postmarked more than over a hundred years ago. In second-hand stores and attic drawers, boxes of old postcards give us three-sentence glimpses into former existences, preserving candid snippets of lives long finished. E-mails printed out for posterity are likely to capture not nearly as many ephemeral details about your life other than, perhaps, the fact that your toner was low." ~Anna Jane Grossman Obsolete

Related:

How words can weave a friendship
The Society for the Prevention of Empty Mailboxes
Collegiate pen pal society revives art of letter writing

Weekend reads

2011-05-06T20:36:00.004-04:00

There were so many great reads out there this week. Here's some of my favorites:

For the mother of teenagers who aches but a bit. Must read. Especially if you have a teenager, like me. Ann understand a mother's heart who has a teenager.

It's gonna take some crazy "I am beginning to think that we don’t have a grid for the reality of what will happen when abortion is made illegal in this nation. 4,000 babies are aborted every day in this nation. Where will they go when Roe v. Wade is overturned?"

Why I adore

The 5 Ps of Personal Bible Study

In the school of prayer: Prayer Book

Happy weekend! And Happy Mother's Day!

Empty Places

2011-05-04T20:49:00.003-04:00

I've got empty places

Empty dreams, withouts, expectations not met, words not spoken.

People not there, resources not there, just...empty places.

Where are your empty places?

And what are you filling them up with?

"...and she said, "I know not the secret of these mysteries. Yea, mine own heart acheth over some of the Empty Places. But say unto those who are able to hear that the person who useth not the good things which he hath but complaineth against God for those he lacketh, is like unto one who rejecteth a Doughnut because he Knoweth not the Mystery of the Hole." ~William F. Barton, Parables of a Country Parson

Family sketchbook

2011-05-03T07:57:00.005-04:00

The Family Sketchbook idea came from a couple of places. 1. From Soule Mama's "Little Nook" post and from 2. from Ann Voskamp's Visual Homemaking Journal ideas. And probably other places through various home school readings, but if I had to say, the inspiration mainly for this came from these two posts.

It's very simple. You buy a big{ish} spiral sketchbook. (It must lie flat.) I keep it the kitchen, laying flat and open on a table. Every day I write the date at the top of two pages. You may only use the two pages for the day. In passing, children can doodle, or write, or paste, or whatever strikes their fancy. Mama writes what we did today, and important milestones or funny sayings, whatever strikes *her* fancy. Get Dad involved, too. This will be something to look back on in the future and see what your days looked like.

Mama Monday

2011-05-02T06:00:00.003-04:00

Today's Mama Monday is the absolutely beautiful Megan of the absolutely beautiful blog Contented Sparrow. If you do not know about Megan's blog, then right after you'd better click on over because you are in for a treat. But a warning: you *will* get lost in her colorful, thoughtful, and inspiring documentation of her home life. And let's not even get started on her home and garden set on Flickr.. I could get caught up in there for days, ignoring my children and all that.;) Also check out her home school set. Happy, happy!!

Describe your family--We're a cozy, laid-back yet kooky family of five living and learning and growing together in Michigan by His grace alone. My best-friend, teacher husband and I have been married for 14 years and we're blessed to be the parents of Eli, 9, Oliver, almost 8, and Lucy 4-1/2. We're farmers at heart in suburbia, carving out a purposefully-slow, quiet life in the midst of the loud.

Greatest thing about being a mom—Oh, Andrea, I could never say just one thing. Squishy baby thighs with pinch able rolls, seeing what my husband must have been like as a child, one that can always make me laugh, their quick forgiveness, firstborn's spontaneous "I love you so much, Mommy", learning right alongside them, wet curls on her neck, dirty boy fingernails, him up a tree, serving them, worshiping together, glimpsing God's creative hand in their uniqueness, sleepy morning hugs, glee in their faces, introducing them to the wonder of Christ, on and endlessly on.

Hardest thing about being a mom— Sigh...that would have to be me. In short, sin and fear. My failings and flailings and painfully seeing those mirrored in my kids. Realizing how close to the surface selfishness and impatience are in my life. Fighting the fear that I'm not stewarding well the gifts that they are. Worrying I'm going to screw them up! Getting it through my thick skull that God loves them more than I do and that they are always in His hands. So, the hardest thing(s) also turn out to be gift because they keep me on my knees, desperately relying on God. Breathing His grace in and out.

Favorite blogs/websites—

Around 4 years ago, naive about what a blog even was, I "stumbled" upon A Holy Experience and I was immediately enthralled with the words and life of this Spirit-led poet/woman. I've made no secret of my admiration and respect of Ann, whom I'm now beyond blessed to call friend. She mentors me in the ways of Christ-following. She's my if-I-only-have-five-minutes-online read. And, if not for Ann, I would never have been given the gifts of you, {Andrea}, and {Tonia} and {Aimee} and {Anna} and {Elise} and {Elizabeth} and {Susan}. Susan's words are ones I return to again and again whenever my homeschooling anchor has come loose and I need it battened down. Yes, there are many more beautiful women who write words that I enjoy reading but just too many to list here.

I will say that crafty inspiration comes from Ashley Ann, etsy, flickr, pinterest, One Pretty Thing, and too many more to list. Often my screen is opening solely to fill our home with worship music from Pandora. And if I start listing my go-to Bible teaching sites, we'll be in for a long, loongg list. I'll just mention Desiring God, Revive Our Hearts, Walk in the Word/Harvest Bible Chapel, Mars Hill (Seattle).....eeks, I must stop!!

Links:

Holy Experience (Ann)
Study in Brown (Tonia)
Living Learning and Loving Simply (Aimee)
Pleasant View Schoolhouse (Anna)
A Path Made Straight (Elise)
Real Learning: Elizabeth Foss
High Desert Home (Susan)
Ashley Ann Photography
Etsy
Flickr
Pinterest: Megan
One Pretty Thing
Pandora
Desiring God
Revive our Hearts
James MacDonald
Mars Hill Church

How do you find balance in your life—

For me, taking to heart and putting into action the fact that God created me with needs that require filling is something I have to be proactive about. My default is doing. There's always something to be cleaned, folded, fed, taught, weeded, etc. But when I'm feeling depleted and am intentional about "filling my bucket" as my Lucy would say, there's a marked change in my attitude. Besides, of course, dedicated quiet time with God, reading, praying and listening, I'm completely refreshed by time out with my husband, also solitude, fellowship with friends, creative interests, fresh air, nature, exercise, counting His gifts with my camera. Intentionality in this area makes me a better Mama! "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28-30

I've always loved what Elizabeth Foss has written about balance in her children's lives...great advice for us, too!
As much as I am able, every day, I will ensure that my child will: * Live the Liturgy * Experience loveliness * Breathe deeply: Fresh air and exercise * Serve others * Listen to, contemplate, and exchange ideas. * Develop expressive skills. * Practice logical reasoning. Math. * Receive focused attention and affection

And, finally, I ADORE what Susan has to say about daily balance here.

One word that describes you— Or two? Colorfully curious.

I will always eat--cookie dough, always + forever

Favorite color--Oh, it's ever changing. Right now, turquoise with citrus for the home. Charcoal and yellow for me.
Hobbies/interests---Being outside and soaking in His creation with the family, capturing bits of beauty with my camera, digging in the dirt, fleshing out head ideas with my hands which could involve a thread and a needle, or a paintbrush, or a hammer and nail, or pencil and paper, researching-learning-living a curious life.

I couldn't live without—Grace. Prayer. His living words, the Holy Spirit's whispers. My family. And, things I literally could live without but wouldn't want to....sunshine, blue skies, and fresh air!!! Flip-flops. Coffee. Worship music to put my praise to words. A camera. Chocolate. It would be truly hard to live without some way to connect with distant friends and family.

What helps me through tough days---Remembering, Lamentations 3:22-23,
"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
What the Lord has been speaking to you about lately—So many different things. Hmmm, I guess the most prevalent thing would be how He's been pouring His love over me, whispering it in my ears. Using people's words to teach me things about His grace and acceptance that have never really and truly sunk in before. I need not strive! I'm not condemned! Yes, I fail but His love for me never does. We're ALL a mess but He's already done the clean-up work. "Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16 doesn't say that we have to jump through 10 hoops and THEN approach the Throne, then He'll accept me...NO, Christ was that hoop for us, that doorway! Ya-hoo!

What do you like best about yourself—{cringe} Why is it that cringing is my natural reaction to that question....why so many of us women are hard-pressed to find an answer for it? I guess talents and gifts and leanings and personality traits are the best parts of me because they're just what God had planned for me! Creativity? From Him. Aptitudes and abilities? From Him. And I am thankful that by His grace, He's shown me the great value in living out 1 Thessalonians 4:11, Deuteronomy 6:6,7 (I could add verse upon verse upon verse) and a life of curiosity and a willingness to learn.

If I could encourage a young mother, I would say--
I am NO fount of wisdom but I guess it would be to cherish your children. Every moment. When they cuddle and have that baby smell. When they're nursing and drowsily gazing up at you. When they're screaming and needing you. When they're testing and gaining independence. Don't wish their babyhood away. Or any season or stage way for that matter. It's fleeting! Truly know that.
Also, one more tidbit for a first-time, exhausted mom...
Baby keeping you up all hours of the night? Look at it this way, think of all the time you get to share, grasp the privilege it is to nurture that baby's need and strengthen your bond, and, remember that those tired nights (and days) will be a foggy memory someday. I promise! I was utterly exhausted with my firstborn who didn't sleep through the night until almost a year. My blood would boil and I would cry right along with him in the wee hours. But by the time my third child arrived, I was so much more laid back and relaxed knowing how short babyhood really was, I actually looked forward to cuddling her in the night. Seriously. Aww, I can just feel her in my arms now...sniff.

One book you would recommend to read--(besides the Bible)
One, seriously, one? (I know, I know.)Ann Voskamp's 'One Thousand Gifts' would be my obvious answer but that doesn't count because you've all read that, right?
A book that's a friend to me is my dog-eared and falling apart copy of 'A Diary of Private Prayer' by John Baillie.
And, umm, I can't resist mentioning a few authors that, in particular, have influenced me in my role as wife and mom, OK? Great, thanks!
I've been blessed by Sally Clarkson, Susan Schaeffer Macaulay, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Turansky and Miller, Elizabeth Elliot, and many others that I'm certainly forgetting!

Thank you Megan!!!!!

Weekend reads

2011-04-29T08:01:00.002-04:00

The importance of taking time for you A topic I am passionate about.

Words have the power to change destinies. I am so thankful for this post. I think people do not understand the power of encouraging words. I know when someone takes the time to encourage me with words, that I am lifted up. Is there someone you can share the gift of words with today? Who can you call or email to encourage? What words of life can you speak to your husband and children? Words are powerful. Don't neglect them.

How to be a relaxed homeschooler. Good stuff.

On a Thursday night.

2011-04-28T20:07:00.002-04:00

A rainbow always appears in the same spot, right outside our front door.

This little one sees it clearly for the first time.

Staring at it, taking it in. I know the feeling, little one.

My backyard. I never get tired of this view. Peaceful.

Two great reads

2011-04-26T08:00:00.003-04:00

Responding to negativity with encouragement "If all you do in a 12 hour period is nurse and rock a baby then, my dear, you are the one thing on this earth keeping that baby loved and alive."

Living quietly
Aimee really encourages mothers to love the quiet life within the home.

Celebrating Easter

2011-04-23T19:07:00.002-04:00

1. dyeing hard boiled eggs

2. preparing the Easter meal and Easter dinner

3. gathering goodies for the Easter baskets

4. searching through all the boxes in the basement for the Easter baskets

5. new shoes and new dresses along with the requisite front porch Easter picture

6. watching children hunt for eggs

7. church service Easter morning

8. more egg hunts in the afternoon

9. recalling and remembering the resurrection

10. being thankful that He is the lamb of God

Happy Resurrection Day!

Weekend reads

2011-04-22T15:11:00.004-04:00

Obedience is a pathway, not a procedure.
This post is why I love Sally and think she is a wonderful mothering/homeschooling mentor. This was Sally's heart back in the 1990s when she wrote Educating the Whole-Hearted Child. (my first home schooling "manual") I was so excited to find her book amidst the many "To Train up a Child" philosophies. Many teachers/mentors in the 1990s "preached" first-time obedience and wanted to mold their children by home schooling. Not many out there then were talking about relationships with your children and "capturing their heart". Sally was. She was full of grace, not condemnation or fear. Her teaching resonated with me then, when she seemed to be a lone advocate, and her lessons speak to me now. It's letting go of who you want your children to be, and trusting the Lord with them. It's not caring how they may "appear" to others, but simply loving them for who they are as unique individuals. It's teaching them things through a relationship--by spending time with them, by talking with them, by discussing ideas with them. It's not about making them fit into a mold of what everyone else is doing or what you think they should be doing. That is why I appreciate Sally's encouragement in this area.

Lessons learned from turning off the tv

How to make space for good thinking Ohhh, I love this!!! I think this advice is great for a mother. It goes along with my philosophy that if you are nourishing yourself, then your family and children will get the overflow. Therefore, if you nourish your creative time, your family will get the overflow.

Raising good eaters and a sample menu

Redefining Radical I am praying for my church specifically to become radical. I am praying for revival in their hearts--which is where it starts.

Have a wonderful Easter weekend!

Thankful Tuesday

2011-04-19T06:28:00.000-04:00

#90: A new couple in our church initiating fellowship with us. (it is such a blessing to have someone else initiate fellowship with us, since a lot of the time it feels we are the only ones initiating!)
#91: watching my 22 month old dance to annoying electronic toy music. Too cute!
#92: fasting and praying with sisters in the Lord.
#93: my oldest daughter getting the opportunity to travel to Paris with a family friend.
#94: her safe travels.
#95: sharing with a sister in Christ some of my frustrations.
#96: still reading the Bible in 90 days--
#97: my 22 month old's excitement every time we go outside: " 'side! 'side!"
#98: my husband helping me prepare a meal to bring to a mom who just had a baby
#99: planning our summer trip
#100: my headache going away after two days of pain.

More on cultivating friendships

2011-04-18T07:35:00.006-04:00

Just wanted to highlight some of the conversation and thoughts that have come from my post at Sally's blog. It has been so fulfilling to hear every one's thoughts on cultivating friendships, and especially Sally's additional thoughts. I just wanted to share here again if you haven't been able to stop by.

If I have a friends with whom to share life I will hold fast to my ideals

Just a little thought

Some thoughts from Sally I wanted to highlight:

“It is an art of a civilized woman to extend the life and grace and beauty of Jesus to all who are in her wake, while filling up with the love of her friends that she has helped to create.”

"..... I think the older I get the more I have been emptied by the many tasks and people who are in my life. I think that a part of a wise woman’s legacy is to realize that God was the one who created friendships and family (most of us do not live close to our families and we do not always have values in common), so sustain us, to fill our emotional cups, to celebrate the journey of life and motherhood together. Our husbands were never made to have to do this all by themselves, it would put too much pressure on them.
And so, having and cultivating a godly friend or even a godly group of friends, is a protection for ourselves. When someone is there to believe in us, to pray with us, to laugh with us, to help take the burden, then we are not alone in this battle.
And when I am strengthened in and through friendships and my children also have some families of good and godly friends who support them and love them, we are all better able to bear these ideals with grace.
The more filled my cup, the more grace I am able to pour out on my husband when he gets home from a long day and needs me to extend myself to him.
Life with children at the center does not always neatly allow regular time with friends, but I make the time because it is a part of essential fellowship for me. I have a friend I pray with many mornings before we get started. I also make friendship time to be with my oldest daughter every week–breakfast together, as she is my spiritual equal and is committed to me as I am to her. I make time with a sweet older friend whom I respect because I need her spiritual guidance in my life. And more.
A woman who is alone in her home bearing so much stress and work without a companion to lift her up becomes and easy target for Satan. And so it is definitely something we must seek out, commit to, so that we may find a grace to help keep us going.
God validated Jonathan and David as friends–David needed a Jonathan to help him through these difficult challenges...."

Guest posting at Sally Clarkson's blog

2011-04-15T13:53:00.003-04:00

I am so excited to be guest posting at Sally Clarkson's blog I Take Joy today! Sally Clarkson's book Educating the Whole-Hearted Child was the first home schooling book I bought when I first started home schooling almost 12 years ago.

Please check out my guest post on Sally's blog here.

Gratitude.

2011-04-09T20:00:00.002-04:00

76. Forsythia blooms.

77. "You make all things new"

78. Spring Rummage Sales.

79. Rummage Sale finds. Books and needlepoint birds.

80. Saturday morning book study of Bonhoeffer's Life Together

81. Strength is not in numbers.

82. A weekend with two dear friends just talking, talking, talking, eating, eating, eating, and sleeping in...

82. the smell of earth: Spring!

83. Sunsets in my backyard.

Mama Monday

2011-04-04T07:59:00.004-04:00

Today's Mama Monday is the sweet-hearted Miriam from the blog Living Fragrance. Miriam is a sweet and sensitive soul. I really enjoy her writings on her blog. One of my favorite posts that she has written is called: Savored Stirrings. This post really gives you a sense of her heart!

Ladies, I am happy to bring you Miriam:

Greatest thing about being a mom—

I think that all the love is the best part. It's just such an amazing gift to be loved by my children, and to experience the depths of love that I have for them. Paradoxically, I've been challenged to find how short my love falls in this journey, but ultimately that is also a gift, because it causes me to drink deep of God's love as my source.

Hardest thing about being a mom—

Your friend Layla's answer for this question really resonated with me. Motherhood has a way of placing a magnifying glass on our failures and shortcomings, doesn't it? I often see my struggles evidenced in my children's lives - that is so hard. It's been quite a process for me to learn to truly receive God's grace for all that is past (and all that we are still working through) and to trust in His redemptive power to be at work in each of us.

Favorite blogs/websites—

I find this simple question so very difficult to answer. It's probably a little quirk with me... Max Lucado's You Are Special is just about my favorite kids' book, and I think it's message has become ingrained in me over the years. Do you know the story? The Wemmicks are little wooden people who go around all day every day sticking stars and dots on each other. Stars for the good, beautiful, and talented ones; dots for those who fall short in all sorts of ways. They need their maker Eli's help with this, because they must learn that all those dots or stars don't mean a thing really, only what Eli thinks matters. Obvious allegorical meaning, hopefully? The thought of publicly praising a few blogs, to the exclusion of others, feels to me a little too much like entering into that whole star and dot thing, so I have to plead the fifth. (But no judgment on those who have shared their favorites! Like I said, I think this is just a personal conscience quirk with me.) I will say that this blog has been a great blessing to me! :)

How do you find balance in your life—

For me it is very important to keep things simple... in so many aspects of life. My husband's tag phrase that he likes to remind me of when I start to feel overwhelmed is "KISS" - keep it simple, Sweetie. Of course, that practically plays out in lots of ways... a bit too much to write about here.

One word that describes you—

Sensitive

Favorite color--

Green! I love that it is the color of new life and healing. I can't adequately express what it does for my heart to see the first greens of spring appearing. Feels like Heaven coming close.

Hobbies/interests---

Art, dance, reading, exploring nature, blogging now and then, learning to live a life of mission

I couldn't live without—

my husband's fabulous foot rubs ;)

What helps me through tough days---

Jesus' grace. I once heard this great quote from a preacher: "In God there are no more good days or bad days for you, just days of grace. Some days there is grace to enjoy, and some days there is grace to endure." I'm learning to rest in that beautiful truth.

And music helps me so much. Probably one of the best songs for me to listen to on a tough day is an old Twila Paris song: "Fix Your Eyes." I need to constantly remind my soul to look to God.

What the Lord has been speaking to you about lately—

Like so many others, I've been reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts and seeking to cultivate a heart of gratitude in my own life. (A glimpse of my journey here: gifts ) It's been so good and the Lord has been speaking so much to me through it all. Oftentimes I tend to flit from revelation to revelation in the Christian life, without letting the lessons firmly take hold, so I'm planning to take the rest of this year to focus on this. I've named the year Joyful Thanks to help me remember to stay on course.

Also, something that the Lord has been speaking to me about lately that has been hugely significant is the need to take up my cross. A number of weeks ago our pastor was speaking about this. He said that perhaps the easy yoke is synonymous with the crucified life. That thought just really struck me. As I look at my life, I've struggled with Jesus' teaching about the easy yoke, because if feels like in many areas I've done so much fruitless striving. So I began asking the Lord to show me ways in which I haven't taken up my cross. He's been faithful to show me all sorts of things, so it's been a humbling journey, but so good ultimately, I know. Much of what He's shown me has to do with being willing to live a hidden life in Him.

What do you like best about yourself—

That I am a beloved child of God.

If I could encourage a young mother, I would say--

Grace, grace, grace. For yourself, for the child(ren), for Daddy finding his way in fatherhood. Also, truly cast all your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you!

One book you would recommend to read--(besides the Bible)
Hind's Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard

Thank you Miriam!!!!

Making the everyday beautiful

2011-04-01T09:10:00.004-04:00

This past weekend I went to Asheville, North Carolina and met up with two friends.

We stumbled upon the cutest baking supply shop called :

Bake it pretty. We had the best time browsing the cute items. I bought some cute cupcake liners to use for not only cupcakes but for muffins as well. In the past I would have saved the cute liners to use for a special purpose. But instead of waiting, I am going to use them for even everyday goodies such as

Blueberry Lemon Muffins. (Such a good recipe. I substituted white whole wheat flour and it is delicious.) My philosophy now is "why wait?" Make everyday a celebration and make everyday beautiful in any way that you can.

2011-03-20T08:20:00.003-04:00

Great is Thy faithfulness,
Oh God,
my Father
There is no
shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not,
Thy compassions,
they fail not
As Thou hast been,
Thou forever wilt be

{favorite "blanky" in the sunlight}

Summer and winter and springime and harvest
Sun,
moon,
and stars in their courses above
Join with all
nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness,
mercy,
and love

{bedhead}

Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning
New mercies I see
All I have needed
Thy hand
hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness
Lord,
unto me

{french toast}

{no leaves yet, but i'll take sunshine!}

Pardon for sin,
and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear
presence to cheer and to guide
Strength for today and
bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine,
with ten
thousand beside

Blogging: God in the Yard Chapter 2

2011-03-17T08:01:00.005-04:00

In Chapter 2: Rules: The Way in L.L. Barkat's book God in the Yard: Spiritual practice for the rest of us L.L. explores the phrase: "Whose job is it to make sure we don't fall into nothing?" In her observation of back yard cardinals in her small space, L.L. witnesses the baby cardinal learn how to fly:

"I've heard it said that when it's time for baby birds to fly, their no-nonsense mamas knock them out of the nest. Maybe some fledgling somewhere must put up with such heavy-handed (or beaked?) techniques. But I recently learned from an avian specialist that for most baby birds it comes to a matter of internal readiness. Feathers grow long, muscles grow strong, bodies plump up, and it's time. The baby walks out ready to try her wings. Sometimes she makes her way, branch by branch, down to the ground. Or she might dive like an Olympic hopeful, gliding a bit if she's lucky, or enduring a crash landing if the breeze doesn't quite go her way." ~L.L. Barkat "God in the Yard" p. 13

In her quest to discover spiritual disciplines not "by the book", L.L. is struck by a friend's comment: "Many Christians around the world hear God and it's not through reading the Bible."

Which begs the question: "What is the best way to "hear God"?" L.L. seems to discover, through her own "spiritual discipline" of sitting outside in the same place every day for a year, (a discipline in itself) that there are ways beyond the "tried and true" disciplines of solitude, silence, prayer, meditation, study, service and sacrifice.

For me, there is freedom within those disciplines. What it looks like for another may be different for me. I find that in my dailiness as a mother, that I can experience all of those spiritual disciplines in my common, ordinary life without resorting to a cloistered life. It does take intentional living to do that, and perhaps in the end, that is the spiritual discipline in itself: intentionality.

"In the end, this is the most hopeful thing any of us can say about spiritual transformation: I cannot transform myself, or anyone else for that matter. What I can do is create the conditions in which spiritual transformation can take place..."
~Ruth Haley Barton

Yum.

2011-03-14T18:13:00.001-04:00

I made Megan's Spring Pasta tonight. I used grilled chicken instead of ham. (Though the ham sounds really good in this recipe! And I never eat ham!!)
It's a perfect dish for these longer Spring days!!! (Yay!!!!)

Weekend Links

2011-03-13T21:08:00.004-04:00

When you want to say "I can't imagine" just try "When we say to grieving people, “Oh, I can’t imagine” we might be saying “I don’t want to imagine.” A bold post, a must read. This could apply to anyone who might be struggling or grieving.

A trifecta of Sally Clarkson must reads:

A smile in my soul--in quietness and rest
Join the sober club
I need someone who understands my life!

Baby Steps to Year Five

2011-03-11T07:25:00.007-05:00

"Kindred spirits aren't so scarce as I used to think." ~Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Five years ago today I started a blog: "Ruminations of a Birch Mama". Kind of a lame name. *smile*

A couple of months later, I changed it to "The Flourishing Mother", and the rest, well....it's in the archives.....

That day in March 2006, I hesitantly wrote a post, and titled it: Baby Steps, inspired by this and this . I had just had my fourth child, I was "in the trenches"--home schooling my older children, trying to adjust to life with a new baby, feeling very overwhelmed, and honestly, fighting for joy. Before starting, I had no idea what blogging was or even what a blog was! During my late night reading on the computer, up with pregnancy insomnia, I discovered Barbara Curtis' blog. I was hooked on this "Montessori Megamom" of 12 children. She gave me words of hope in my mothering journey, when I so needed it, and I even participated in her Meet me in the Laundry Room! contest. (I am picture #5)

Somehow I found Amy's Humble Musings and both Barbara and Amy actually inspired me to start my own blog.

I remember "way back in the ye ole blogging days" finding a blog that Ann Voskamp wrote with Holly and a couple of other women. (anyone remember that blog?) I also discovered Tonia's blog, back when she was known as "Sparrow". *wink*

Those of you who have blogs know how they have changed lives. Not only the lives of others, but our own. By starting a blog, sharing my struggles and stories, it opened up to me the online blogging community in a way I never thought possible. I have created deep relationships with a lot of these women that I've met online. And some I've met in person--which is so very wonderful in itself.

We mamas need encouragement wherever we can find it. It is not easy being a mother, though we know it is a gift. I happened to hesitantly start a blog post, not knowing where it would lead, not even knowing what I was doing, and I have found that by taking that first "Baby Step", that I have found many, many kindred spirits that have encouraged me along the way.

So..."Happy Blogiversary to Me"!!

Will you leave me a gift? A gift of your words in the comments? I'd love to hear from you!

Blogging: God in the Yard

2011-03-09T07:48:00.007-05:00

My Tuesday women's bible study is reading L.L. Barkat's book God in the Yard :

"the story of an unusual year, when I did something I never intended to do. But it is also a course in discovery and playing towards God, through spiritual practice, offered with gentle expectations." ~L.L. Barkat

We are lucky to have L.L. in our midst as we go through this study. She is speaking and talking about the book with us all as we read.

God in the Yard is:
the story of L.L.'s year in her own backyard.
Inspired by a prompt in a book to find a "secret spot" somewhere in nature, and go there for an hour every day, L.L. went to the same spot in her own backyard for a year. This book explains her experience in doing that.

Every Wednesday I am going to blog my thoughts about L.L.'s book and my own experiences. I have no certain way I am going to present my blog posts. Perhaps it is a long blog post, like a journal entry, perhaps it is written out like a story, perhaps it is a poem, perhaps it is a few words, or a picture. As L.L. did when she started her own journey, I am not putting any expectations on myself, or asking "why" I am doing this. I just "am".

Some thoughts on the first chapter:

L.L. invites us to read Proverbs 8: 30-31:
"Then I was beside Him as a master craftsman; And I was daily His delight, Rejoicing always before Him, Rejoicing in His inhabited world, And my delight was with the sons of men."

These verses tell me that it is good to rejoice in Him, before Him, in His inhabited world, and with the sons of men.
L.L. says, "...our spiritual goal is not simply to renew the child but to play through the child, towards soul restoration, towards a Proverbs-style partnership between us and God, preparing the way for grace in the world."

This week:

I will try to be more aware of ways to be "playful" with God. Through words, logical/mathematical ways, spatial/visual, musical/rhythmic, kinesthetic/bodily, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalist and existentialist ways. (God in the Yard, p. 7)

1000 gifts...

2011-03-08T17:16:00.002-05:00

#69. a lazy afternoon with good friends
#70. learning something about myself through a conversation with a friend
#71. holding my friend's 2 week old baby girl
#72. rain melting all the snow
#73. warmer temps
#74. seeing my progress in reading the Bible
#75. starting a new study at my women's bible study (check back tomorrow!)

One Thing

2011-03-06T19:16:00.006-05:00

"And everything is important

But everything is not

At the end of your life your relationships are all you've got."

~Sara Groves

I was talking to a friend the other day how mamas minister to each other.

"If a mom brings me a meal," my friend says, "she's walking through my door, barely balancing it with one hand, with little ones hanging on her legs. It takes all she's got and more to bring me that meal, because she herself probably needs one as well."

I always think we put "ministry" in a place that feels unattainable. We overthink ministry. What is my "ministry"? Where do I fit in? How can I minister to people? Who do I minister to?

Tonia shared a wonderful quote on her blog that I am going to repeat here. (my bold letters)

"What I have in mind for you in your new job as adult youth advisor to those seven or eight Norwegian teenagers is simply this: Invite them over to your home to cook a meal with you. Make it a regular thing, say, once every couple of weeks. And that's it.

But there is more to it than meets the eye. First, its something you like to do and are good at. You have that huge county farm kitchen, furnished with every conceivable cooking device - in a culture of fast-food and efficiency, your kitchen opens up a world of care for food and its painstaking preparation will strike them, to use one of their words, as awesome. Second, you will be taking them seriously as persons, without any condescending adaptations to their status as adolescents. You are inviting them into your adult world and making them participants in it - work that is not make-work; work, not entertainment (although not without its pleasures.) Third, you will be working out of a context of hospitality, probably the very best setting in which to develop personal relationships and develop conversations that include Jesus. [...]

You have scores of delightful and sometimes imaginatively complex recipes - they're not likely to get bored. And you will have provided a setting in which they will experience themselves in ways which are rare for them: treated with dignity, not exploited to some program or other, and treated as "souls" to be nurtured, not psyches to be fixed. [...]

I'm sure by now, you can discern the conviction that is behind my suggestion: that "ministry" is organic, growing out of who and where we are in circumstances in which we know and serve Jesus; not something we impose on a person or setting as "mission" or "evangelism" or "youth ministry."

While I see the value in "co-ordinating" ministry in churches and asking people to serve in the church, there also is a part of ministry that occurs in our everyday life which includes, as Tonia said, "is growing out of who and where we are."

Who are the people that the Lord has placed in your life? Who are those people that the Lord keeps bringing to mind? They are there for a reason. And...how can you love them? How can you minister to them?

When we let our own views or idols of ministry get in the way of what could truly be "organic" then people fall through the cracks.

"And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say I've got something better to do..." ~Sara Groves

And ministry is messy. It's doubling a meal you make for your own family and bringing the other half to your friend. It's putting down that one more thing and choosing the better.

"There will never be an end to, the request upon your time...."

It's writing that letter to encourage a friend.

It's listening to a hurting friend when your house is crazy and the dishes are messy and you don't really want to listen... but you do.

It's listening to the voice of God say, "hey...do this. Not this."

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” ~Luke 10: 41-42

Sara Groves lyrics from the song "Just One More Thing"

Life!!!

2011-03-04T08:04:00.003-05:00

{Lincoln center: last night}

Growing up, every weekend, we visited my grandparents' house. A lot of times we would come there in the afternoon and my grandmother, "Gaga" would be taking a rest in her bedroom. That's the first place I would go. I was always given warnings, like: "don't bother Gaga, she's resting", but I would go in there to see her anyway.

What I liked to do was lay beside her and snuggle up to her. I can still remember the way she felt and smelled. Good memories. I would always say, "Gaga, are you sleeping?" and she would say, "no honey, I'm just resting my eyes." This gave me the permission I needed to stay in there while she "rested her eyes." It gave me the assurance that I wasn't bothering her, but that she wanted me there, cuddled up next to her, as she rested.

Last night my husband took me to the Lincoln Center in New York City for a symphony concert. It's something you should try to do if ever given the opportunity. What do you do during a symphony? Watch the instruments magically play together in time? Watch the conductor's moves? Check out the "scene"? Close your eyes and "feel" the music? Sleep?

I chose to close my eyes and snuggle up to my husband. I took in his warm arm, his smell, his breath moving in and out, the feel of his wool jacket on my cheek. I gave thanks for all the wonderful things about life with him.

When my grandmother was in the nursing home in the last weeks of her life, I visited her. I cried at the sight of her: sunken cheeks, mouth drawn, eyes lost their sparkle, skinny body. She lay there and greeted me with her warm, big, smile, always ready to greet a guest. "It's a wild ride, ain't it?" she said. An odd comment coming from her, but I agreed with her, and chalked it up to her state of mind. I crawled up on her bed and snuggled up beside her like I had done so many times before. It was really amazing how it was just as I had remembered it: the way her body felt, her smell, her breathing...everything. I'm so glad I did that.

I went to see her at the mortuary where she lay in the casket. I touched her hand, but it was cold and hard, but she looked the same. "I love you, Gaga." I said. But the life was not there, and I yearned for one more time to lay with her and smell her and feel her.

Life.

#58 ears to hear music

#59 husband's arm to lean on

#60 the calm predictability of his breathing

#61 his familiar smell

#62 a warm hand to hold

#63 emotional response to music

#64 the feeling of security my husband gives me

#65 walking in heels in New York City

#66 back pain this morning! (proof my muscles work!)

#67 memories made just my husband and I

#68 the gift of Life.

Accountability

2011-03-01T18:29:00.003-05:00

I am on Day 58 of Reading the Bible in 90 days. I will say that I would not be able to achieve this without the help of my friend Natalie. We decided to take on this challenge together and also be accountability partners in regard to this.

Natalie is an excellent accountability partner. Mainly because when she does something, she does it right. No cutting corners. Exactly the kind of accountability partner I need!!

We text each other or send an email to each other every day checking up on one another. Occasionally we will make funny comments about what we are reading, especially during the dry parts. We have also shared our favorite parts. And often she or I will text each other: "behind 2 days. Pray for me!!" or "got no reading done today!" or "you can catch up!" And we do!

I have learned during this challenge that having an accountability partner is essential to Christian living, especially when trying to overcome something or facing a challenge.

God did not leave us on this world to walk alone. He gave us Jesus and the Holy Spirit to guide us, but also our fellow believers to fellowship with and live in community with. This is an extreme blessing and should not be taken lightly.

I John 4:21 says: "And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother." This is a command that we must follow. God made us to live in community with each other, and Christian accountablity is one way we can do this.

Opening ourselves up, being real
When you choose to have an accountability partner, you are choosing to open yourself up and be vulnerable to someone. Sometimes it could be about sharing extremely sensitive or personal information. Confessing sin is part of this process, especially if you are trying to overcome something. I felt comfortable with Natalie as my accountability partner because I knew that I could tell her the truth: "I am behind by 6 days.." and she would encourage me and urge me to continue to read. Just having her support helped me read even when I did not feel like it at all. It made me not want to give up.

Relating to each other
Christian accountability involves an intentional attitude of relating to each other. We must pursue each other with intention. Deep friendship and relationships do not just "happen". They take careful thought and prayer and intention. Relationships are hard work! As an accountability partner we must be willing to be "on call" for each other, to encourage, pray, or talk to one another when we might need it. We must also communicate with each other. We cannot expect to form close bonds when we are only checking in once a week or once every 2 weeks. I found that by checking in with Natalie every day that it made me more focused on my task at hand. Frequent interaction is the key.

Ann Kroeker writes in her book Not so Fast: Slow Down Solutions for Frenzied Families:
"Intimate relationsips generally don't flourish without some dedicted time one on one. They need slow moments of focus and attention."

The Bible and Christian Accountability
The Bible says that God holds us accountable. Romans 14:12 says, "So then each of us shall give account of himself to God." This is personal accountability.
Christians are also accountable to one another. In 1 Corinthians chapter 12 it says that Christians are all part of the same body - the body of Christ - and each member needs and belongs to the other.

Galatians 6:1-2 says: "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

The Bible also says we should encourage each other: Hebrews 10:24 says: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says to

"…encourage one another and build each other up…"

Asking ourselves
Are you accountable? Do you have a friend to whom you can go? Are you the type of person that people can come to when they need accountability? Do you want a Christian accountability partner?

Mama Monday

2011-02-28T08:12:00.003-05:00

I am so happy to bring you today's Mama Monday.

Layla has been a friend of mine for at least 10 years. We have known each other for a long time, and have kept being pregnant and having babies at the same time. Let me tell you what kind of person Layla is...A couple of summers ago I was having a difficult time in my life. Layla had just given birth to her fifth child. She actually offered to make me a meal and bring it over, knowing I was struggling. Of course I told her, "no"!!! *smile* But just the thought of her wanting to bless me when *she* was the one who needed a meal told me what kind of person and friend she is to me.

She is so very thoughtful in all kinds of ways.

Ladies, I am happy to bring you Layla:

Greatest thing about being a mom—
I love being the ONE my babies want. When nothing else will do, except for MY lap and MY arms, I just melt knowing I'm their most special person for this short season. I love being the only one who can translate for my toddler. I love seeing my children play together and love on each other. I love when the little ones aren't so little anymore, and they begin to share my interests and develop their own. I like playing silly family games and laughing so hard with the people I love most, that I feel like I'll burst. I adore their sweet blue and green eyes, their sleeping faces, their everything. I love that they are the reason I push myself, and they keep me from forgetting just who I REALLY am underneath the mask of who I'd like to be.

Hardest thing about being a mom—
Facing my failures every day and still moving on, knowing I am going to fail again tomorrow. Having faith that the Lord will use my teaching for good in spite of these failings. Trusting Him to keep my children healthy and safe when I am prone to worry. Who am I kidding, it's all hard!

Favorite blogs/websites—
My favorite websites are lainesletters.com, blueletterbible.org, welltellme.com, wikipedia, e-bay, and sierratradingpost.com.

I don't read many blogs, so all of the ones I follow are my favorites. I love this blog, because Andrea is so honest about real life. I also love Hillary's Hmmm because Hillary is so funny in a goofball kind of way. I like Children of Eve because it's filled with creativity, just like Eve's mind. I also love being constantly challenged by Natalie at One Thing Spoken, Two Things Heard. I love that I actually know three of these ladies in the flesh, too.

How do you find balance in your life—
I still haven't found it yet. But, I try to schedule everything so that I won't neglect the same thing over and over. I do my best to do it all, then go with the flow when things don't work out. You should see my calendar. It's color coded for fun family activities, relationship building time, personal time, educational time, ministry time, business time, etc. I have also found that if I don't clean my house as much, I have more time for the important stuff. Seriously. I used to be a cleanaholic and devote two hours each day to hard core cleaning, so this is big for me.

One word that describes you—
This is another tough one. I think I'm going to have to go with"Tinker." A long time ago, my friend, Michelle, said that she thinks of my as Tinker because it is the Irish word for a Gypsy. At first I laughed and didn't get what she meant, but as I sat here trying to think of one word, they all seemed incomplete, and all of them were somehow related to her choice. So, I guess I'm an Irish Tinker after all. :-)

Favorite color--
Am I the only one who thinks this question is impossible?? It totally depends on what I'm choosing. I like black furniture because it hides stains. I like green shirts because they bring out my eyes. I like charcoal grey because it goes with every color, mood and occasion. I like yellow kitchens because a kitchen is meant to be welcoming and sunny and cheerful. I think earthy browns are comforting. I like lilac just because it's pretty. {Such a "Layla" answer. I love it. ~Andrea}

I will always eat--
I could list about a zillion things here, like chocolate, bread, salad, fruit, popcorn, and just about anything in front of my face. But, I think my absolute favorite food is CHEESE. I love every type of cheese: crumbly ones like feta and bleu; spreadable ones like neufchatel and port wine; smooth, creamy brie and dutch; sharp ones like swiss, cheddar or provolone - oh and I love gruyere, too. Really, though, I have never met a cheese I didn't love.

Hobbies/interests---
Oh, boy. Aside from my kids? For the past eleven years I have been so busy being a mom that I don't even know what to write. . . I have always loved to read, but I rarely have time for it anymore. I enjoy relaxing outside when it's warm, but NEVER when it's cold. As I type this, I realize that it has been years since I have done both of these at the same time. I think I'll resolve to read outdoors this summer and let other things go. I like to bake and design houses that no one will ever build. I like learning new things and then being able to use the information for something helpful or practical. I am interested in natural home remedies. I like being able to help people who need to feel loved, and nursing homes are filled with people who need love. I used to love riding, and it is something I would really like to do with my daughters, since they share my fascination with horses. I really love foreign languages and cultures, and I hope to one day study them. I used to write a lot of poetry, but now I don't have the energy to feel the level of emotion necessary for good writing. And I know this one is strange, but I like to edit publications or advertisements to catch errors that no one else did before it went to print.

I couldn't live without—
Aside from the obvious things like my Savior, my husband or my children, I don't think there is anything I really couldn't live without. I really like indoor plumbing, though. I think that would be next on my list because the times in my life when I did not have a washer/dryer and had to wash my pots with the hose have made me really appreciate these conveniences. After that, I guess I would say that I couldn't live without learning. I think that I would go crazy if I couldn't look answers up and discover new facts. The Internet is great for this! {ps. Layla is such an encyclopedia!}

What helps me through tough days---
Prayer for help, tea for comfort, and spirulina for energy. And, of course, my kids. many times they are the reason I am having a tough day, but it never fails that one of them will have a moment of sweetness that totally outshines all of the surrounding turmoil. There's also my mother-in-law, who has been known to show up with something to make my day easier, just when I really need it.

What the Lord has been speaking to you about lately—
I have been learning two very painful lessons about myself that I had no intention of sharing, but since you asked, I will. First, I am starting to see that I am very self absorbed, and that I do not value myself enough. These two ideas may seem to contradict each other, but in my life they are feeding into each other. There are days when I feel so disappointed in myself for the things that I have failed to do or have not done well enough, that I become wrapped up in myself. So, while I should be moving on and praying for grace, I focus so much energy on myself and what I need to do to be better, or feel better, that I stop focusing my energy on others who need it. I don't quite have it all figured out yet, but you can pray for me. Second, I really need to find my emotional stability in my relationship with the Lord, not other relationships in my life. Sometimes I get so discouraged about my marriage not being what it should, that it begins to affect my spiritual walk, which in turn affects everything else. Only the Lord is truly dependable, and I really need to make that relationship be the one that feeds all of the others.

What do you like best about yourself—
I don't think I have ever really thought about this before. I guess I like that I am still not fully "me" yet, so there is always room for hope. Some people seem to have very clear ideas about themselves and where they fit in, but I don't feel that way. I feel like I still need to be open to everything and hang on to those childhood dreams and crazy notions that most adults would have given up on by now. Rather than trying to see where I've ended up or who I have turned out to be, I just think of myself as being on my way to whatever is still to come - like when you read a book, and it seems as though everything is all squared away, but you know that there are still two hundred more pages of adventure to get through, and you have no idea what's in store.

If I could encourage a new mother, I would say--
Relax and just spend time with your children. You are going to mess up, and you are going to worry that you aren't good enough to do it all, but that doesn't matter. Just be there. When your kids are grown, it won't matter if you were the best cook or if you taught them everything ahead of schedule, or if you provided fancy vacations, or even if you lost your patience a bit too often. What matters is that you were always there, being a part of every memory and every milestone, making them feel secure and loved and never alone. That's how I feel about the Lord in my life, and he is my example in parenting. He may not have given me the most exciting abilities, or kept me from every pitfall, and we have had rough patches of rebellion and painful lessons, but when I look back on my life so far, I can see His loving hand, urging me forward every step of the way.

One book you would recommend to read--(besides the Bible)
As a wife, I got so much out of Debi Pearl's book, Created to Be His Helpmeet. (http://shop.nogreaterjoy.org/product_info.php/products_id/84) I know it is a controversial book, and I have wanted to tear it up or throw it so many times. But there is never a battle unless Truth is involved, so I finished reading it through - more than once. And I will need to read it many more times because I very easily lose perspective regarding my marriage, and this book is like a swift kick in the pant.

Thank you Layla!! I hope you all enjoyed her answers as much as I did!!

Too busy and fast to care

2011-02-23T13:02:00.005-05:00

Ann Kroeker states in her book: Not so Fast: Slow Down Solutions for Frenzied Families, that some of us are leading a nonstop, overly hurried life--and this leaves so little room for the unexpected. Do we say we love the Lord and our neighbor? But what do we do? Ann says, "our actions--or inaction may deeply impact our children's understanding of theology and resulting philosophy of life as they deal with contradictions they witnessed during hurried and harried childhoods."

If we say and believe ourselves to be a compassionate person, then do our actions show that?

Will we slow down and nurture the people God has put into our lives, or will we keep viewing life myopically--like we are the only people that matter? That our needs come before others?

I know this is a challenge in our own homes, with our own children. Never ending housework, never ending chores and to-do lists threaten our connection with our own children.

It takes constant thought to put down what I am doing to connect with my child.

In the same way we are busy with our own families, we can also neglect others that the Lord has put in our path. Just yesterday I had to tell my own daughter "no" to something so I could help a friend. These kind of decisions are not easy to make. But it's only in close relationship with the Lord do I see what my role should be in ministering to others. ('others' includes my own family, as well as other in my church, circle of friends, in my everyday life...) There is a careful balance that must be met, for dipping too far to the left or right is not necessarily the right path. In fact, I even believe, as mothers, we can be so proud of our work inside the home that we forget to be humble and let the Lord lead where He may be taking us. We can be too busy "reading our Bible" that we forget to minister to someone the Lord is telling us to minister to. It doesn't have to just be housework that holds us back.

I love this quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his classic book Life Together:

"We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. God will be constantly crossing our paths and canceling our plans by sending us people with claims and petitions. We may pass them by, preoccupied with our more important tasks, as the priest passed by the man who had fallen among thieves, perhaps--reading the Bible. When we do that we pass by the visible sign of the Cross raised athwart our path to show us that, not our way, but God's way must be done. It is a strange fact that Christians and even ministers (and mothers! ~Andrea) frequently consider their work so important and urgent that they will allow nothing to disturb them. They think they are doing God a service in this, but actually they are disdaining God's "crooked yet straight path" (Gottfried Arnold). They do not want a life that is crossed and balked. But it is part of the discipline of humility that we must not spare our hand where it can perform a service and that we do not assume that our schedule is our own to manage, but allow it to be arranged by God."

Related:

Slowing...
Relationship over...

Why its really okay: The need to slow down

1000 gifts

2011-02-22T08:49:00.003-05:00

#49: the opportunity to serve

#50: the Lord teaching me how to be a servant for Him

#51: getting caught up with my Bible reading because my husband insists and gives me the time

#52: learning more about the Lord's undeserved grace and how to pour out undeserved grace on others (so hard!)

#53: meeting with some ladies from church and discussing Not so Fast

#54: learning more about the Lord through His word

#55: planning a girls' weekend with two dear friends!

#56: holding a dear friend's new baby girl

$57: being thankful again for friends who are like family

2011-02-15T08:25:00.002-05:00

#32: our body telling us when we are sick

#33: mama-instinct: my boy is not getting better

#34: a smart pediatrician

#35: affordable antibiotics

#36: Husband being able to take off work for 2 days as we figure out what is wrong with my son.

#37: phone calls, texts, emails from concerned friends

#38: the power of prayer. Being able to go to the THRONE with our requests.

#39: Echo-Cardiogram: being able to see my son's heart! So amazing!

#40: my son's braveness in getting through many, many blood tests..

#41: seeing the white blood count and CRP numbers go down.

#42: ruling out a possible diagnosis that would be scary

#43: a stronger antibiotic to take away the bacteria in his body

#44: seeing my son's symptoms get better!

#45: being able to comfort and nurture him

#46: getting through two weeks of uncertainty and stress with a measure of peace I would not have had without prayer.

#47: husband taking on an active role in my son's health. (usually I am the one pushing for care. it was nice to have him take over.)

#48: a son who is healthy.

C.L.A.S.

2011-02-11T21:49:00.003-05:00

Friends:

Thank you so very much for the wonderful response to writing letters! I can't wait to begin...

I think for now I have a group big enough to correspond with. If I feel I can add more in the future, then I will certainly say so! For now, I want to make sure I can write to the people who have already contacted me. Blessings....

2011-02-10T09:59:00.003-05:00

Hi friends....

My little guy has been struggling with an infection since last Wednesday, so my time has consisted of dr. appts and caring for his needs...

Those of you who have said they would like to exchange letters with me, please know I have not forgotten, I will just be getting a slow start....

Everything looks good for my little guy. It has been a roller coaster of a possible diagnosis, but I think we are seeing some light now.

Thankful Thursday

2011-02-02T10:20:00.004-05:00

I'm a rebel. I'm doing "Multitudes on Mondays" on a Thursday. It just works better for me. You understand, don't you Ann? *smile*

#16

Jewels updated her blog!!! Bliss.

#17. and her life-giving, truth-telling words that are a balm for my soul every time I read:

On my mind... These simple words "It's never the wrong time to call on Toad. Early of late he's always the same fellow. Always good-tempered, always glad to see you, always sorry when you go!"~~-Kenneth Graham. I've spent some treasured and memorable time the past couple of weekends, each with a different family of very dear friends, and have spent many of the moments in-between-times pondering the idea and out-workings of friendship (that leaves you with the no-other-quite-like-it feeling of having been friended), what it is and how and why. What makes a friendship special and why it would be so.

Seems, a friend likes you just as you are, and enjoys you, because of (without a doubt who they are as well as) who you are. A friend, is sincerely glad to see you or hear you, and lights up at the sight of you or the sound of your voice making your/or it's way, his or her way. A friend knows you--beyond superficial (by degrees and ever longs to know you more), because they listen to you and hear you, and thoughtfully respond to you by turns, in return.

A friend graciously and non judgementally knows what you meant to say even though you may not have said it well, though only the best that you could. A friend, takes what you offer--the good and the not so good--and sifts it all through their greater and sensitive understanding of you overall, and their heart of love, covering you, believing in you, desiring God's very best for you and for yours in every single way. A friend, makes sacrifices of their time and giftings, as best and as often as able--who they are and what they have, and finds joy in return simply in the doing so. The tip of the iceberg of my ponderings. How very grateful I am for the love and shared lives of my friends (among whom are many of you, and for this I thank you, far more than just thank-you).

It's so wonderful to know there are others out there who think and ponder about real friendship and take it very seriously and appreciate it as a gift from God.

#18. A warm house to endure the snowstorm/ice storm.

#19. My 18 month old telling me "Of you." (Love you.)

#20 Green smoothies. I'm drinking them every day the month of February.

** Haha!! My friend Natalie just told me it is Wednesday!! Well, you all know what I mean! It's been one of those weeks!

Eating better

2011-01-30T21:10:00.001-05:00

I have always thought our family were healthy eaters. We eat mostly vegetarian, we don't eat many sweet things, and we do not drink soda or juice excessively. However, some not-so-good eating habits had creeped into our eating habits. At the beginning of January, my husband did a 10-day Master Cleanse fast. In the process, he lost 10 lbs. but gained some insight into his own diet habits. One of the main things he noticed was that he ate too many carbs. He is a vegetarian and has been for 20 years. Sometimes as a vegetarian, you can fall into eating too much pasta, bread, and potatoes. This we had done. Because my husband requested bread with most of our meals, I made bread with most of our meals. Always, always, there was bread with pasta, bread with soup. I had gotten lazy and out of the habit of making a fresh salad with our dinners.

My good friend Eve's husband recently found out that he had diabetes. I enjoyed seeing her lovingly and carefully change her family's eating habits and it got me inspired to really look into how I was feeding my family. I absolutely love this post of hers!!! So combined with my husband's fast, and talking with Eve, it has given me the push to slowly and deliberately change some ways that we eat.

I purchased the book Feeding the Whole Family to help inspire me to cook more whole foods in my kitchen. I also was hoping this book would give me inspiration to make more nutritious home made snacks. We had fallen into the trap of eating Go-Gurts and store bought granola bars too much. I also purchased the book Carb-Conscious Vegetarian to help make more vegetarian meals without so many grains and carbs.

I am just beginning, but here are some things I am currently doing to feed my family and myself better:

1. Cutting out sugar. No late night sour patch kids, no granola bar snacks for the kids. I am going to be conscious of the kind of sugar we eat, trying to focus more on unrefined sugars if we choose to have a treat.

2. Cutting out bread with our meals. No more pasta and bread dinners or potato soup and bread dinners or black beans and rice with cornbread dinners. From now on, instead of bread I will serve a salad or fresh vegetable with our meals. Occasionally we might splurge and have a yummy french bread with our pasta, but that will not be the norm.

3. I cannot cut out pasta. As a vegetarian, this is a huge staple in our meals. But I am going to try to serve less of it (only 2 times a week) and also incorporate whole-wheat noodles more into my dishes. I also plan to puree vegetables in my homemade pasta sauce to get those extra nutrients in.

4. Eating more green smoothies. When I drink green smoothies I have so much more energy and just feel better. My goal is to make more of these, for myself and my family, hopefully every morning.

I am sure I will incorporate more healthier eating habits into our family's diet as I continue on this journey.

Have you made any changes in your eating habits lately?

What has worked/hasn't worked?

I would love to hear!

Other great resources:

Simple Food for Winter Cookbook

Seasonal Winter Eating

C.L.A.S.

2011-01-28T21:23:00.003-05:00

Lovely Tonia is starting a letter writing group: The C.L.A.S. Here are the FAQ to find out more about it and/or how you can join.

I love what Tonia says:

Because this world is too fast, too virtual, too shallow. We need slow, deep, tangible beauty in our lives and going to the mailbox to find a friend's words captured on paper and sent across the miles is one of those beauties.

Amen?

If you would love to be a part of this group, anyone can join!!

If you would love to write letters with me, please email me your address at flourishingmother@hotmail.com and I would love to start writing letters to you--(and vice versa.)

Multitude Monday: On a Thursday

2011-01-27T08:29:00.004-05:00

It's official. It's now the snowiest January on record here. And me, the southern girl coming from mild winters has lived here in the Northeast for 13 years. And I'm still not used to the snow and the cold and all the headache they bring. But the Lord has me here--for my appointed time--for such a time as this. Who knows the ways of the Lord? And, so I'm counting. Counting the Thousand Gifts. Because I have to. Because He commands me to. Because I need to survive winter well.

#1 morning light on snow

#2 fresh greens in winter

#3 my go-to soup: Winter Vegetable Soup

(from the book:The Book of Soups by Lorna Rhodes)

#4 my red cast iron pot

#5 new cookbooks, new eating habits

#6 oh yes, and God bless this mess on my desk. (I think it's funny that the book 'Organized Simplicity' is in the middle of it all...that just sums up my life: good intentions, but life overtakes them sometimes....)

#7 evening light on the snow covered landscape

Family

2011-01-23T09:21:00.003-05:00

We named our last baby after my husband's best friend. It was an honor. This is a man who loves the Lord with all his heart and goes after Him fierce. This is a man who is like a brother to my husband. He is an uncle to our children. I've known him for a long time, but what is really special to me is the wife he picked. She is now my best friend. She is like a sister to me, one who I can "let it all hang out with" (literally. Betsy, you know what I'm talkin' about...)

God graciously brings people into our lives who are not blood-related, but who are related by perhaps the bonds of Christ, the bonds of shared experiences, the bonds of love.

I am reminded of the story of Ruth. Beautiful Ruth who loved her mother-in-law Naomi--who stuck by her because she loved her. Who considered her family and followed her to where her family was. Who the Lord so graciously grafted into Naomi's family line with the marriage of Boaz, her kinsman-redeemer. And this, this beautiful verse:

"Then Naomi took the child, laid him in her lap and cared for him. The women living there said, 'Naomi has a son.' " ~Ruth 4:16-17

Naomi has a son. After her husband and two sons died, and she called herself "Mara" or "bitter" because of the circumstances of her life, God redeemed the situation and gave Naomi a son through her distant relative Boaz, and her daughter in law Ruth. And she laid him in her lap and cared for him. Beautiful!

And when our friends, who are like family...who *are* family... come to our house--we hug and kiss them and tell them we love them, and we really mean it...we don't take it for granted.

And they love on our kids like they are theirs and we do the same to their children.

And God has blessed us with family here, though they are not blood-related.

And He is so good and kind to us for bringing us all into His family.

Take the dare to fully live!!!!

2011-01-22T13:26:00.006-05:00

Did you order Ann Voskamp's book yet? It's number 11 on the Amazon bestseller list!!!!!

Take the dare to fully live!!!

Check out the slideshow of readers!!

Congratulations, Ann!

Happy weekend!

Encourage one another

2011-01-20T22:01:00.004-05:00

I wonder if....

How radically changed our community would be

if we actually used more words.

More edifying words.

More uplifting words.

More truth words.

More encouraging words.

Encourage one another, and build each other up. ~I. Thessalonians 5:11

"...on Monday I reached out to a woman in my bible study who actually doesn't go to my church, i asked her to come over and she did. Anyway she came over and just let me cry and told me that she was going to come over every day this week and help me with whatever, laundry, organizing, cry with me, let me take a nap, whatever. A huge weight has lifted for me at the THOUGHT of someone caring about me and my family."

Oh, just the THOUGHT. Just the THOUGHT! That is all it took to feel a burdened lifted.

How is someone to know if you are praying, are hearing, are listening, if you see their pain, if you don't tell them!!!!

Hi Andrea,
I just wanted you to know that I'm in prayer for your friend.

Oh, thank you, friend. You are praying. You told me. You care. I know!! I didn't know before!!

How am I supposed to know if you don't tell me?

Is there someone God has put on your heart? Someone that has come to mind? Someone who you know is struggling? Give them WORDS.

Words of encouragement, of edification, of praise, of truth:

Encourage one another and build each other up. ~I.Thessalonians 5:11

Even if...

you think they are ok, are handling it.

you think they are not ok.

you are scared of how they will act.

you are scared of how they will not act.

you don't know what to say. (God will give you the words. It so simple, it could just be: "I care.")

you are busy. (make time.)

you are not busy. (write a letter! words to always treasure!)

you think someone else is encouraging them or helping them or reaching out to them. (most likely not, but even if--still do it!)

I'm thinking of you so much lately, and have been remiss in letting you know. One of the best things we can do for each other is letting each other know that you are being thought of, prayed for. ~email from Elise

31 days of encouragement....